Personal Inventory Journal

Sitting here, glass of vodka at hand, I find myself drawn back to the personal inventory journal begun on my original journey towards sober living. It's probably not so much irony as cosmic humor; while I managed to give up on writing anything specific due to my pride, perhaps I can be a little more honest with myself now. It seems I was holding back from my disease through sheer will; I never truly made amends to the people I wronged nor did I make the proper changes in my personality. I never fully put my trust in a higher power like in the steps, either from my own issues with the church so many years ago, or most likely due to the arrogance and self-centeredness I've lived most of my privileged life.

The tragedies I've encountered these past 5 years, be it my own folly or some darker design, have exposed my weaknesses for all the world to see. I think that was the hardest part; realizing I was neither as intelligent or in control as I've always believed in. Religion is for the common fools; I was far beyond that. Evolved, so to speak. God, or a higher power, had always seemed to so comically abstract and distant. Yet, in believing only in myself, what happens when I'm exposed as the fragile, petty, creature that I am? Judging by the past, consuming copious amounts of alcohol, it seems.

Well, I can definitely say there is a greater power; whether it is sentient is questionable, but it's creative and destructive capabilities are quite true. The fact that I can now wield this power and bend reality to my whim, albeit in minute fashion at the moment, is exhilarating and frightening. Feeling this power flow through my body is unlike anything I've ever experienced; I was never much into the drug scene back in my college days, but I can't say I didn't partake of the forbidden fruit a few times in experiment, so to speak. Yet, should a broken down drunk such as myself (as I've ceased attending meetings, I'm not sure I qualify as an alcoholic anymore) be trusted to not abuse such a gift? Had I discovered this 30 years ago, I would assumed I was Luke Skywalker and been convinced I would use my new found power to change the world for the better. Now? Knowing what terrible things I'm capable of?

Perhaps writing will help me put all that I've learned in perspective. Wrapping my mind around all the revelations I have been exposed to in Ravenhurst, the existence of vampires, werewolves, faes, spirits, is a bit of a stretch for someone as set in their ways as I have been. As I've mentioned to a bloodsucking night walker I have befriended, I sometimes wonder if I'm going to wake up in a sanitarium, having finally drank myself into utter insanity. She insists my delusional fantasies would be far less dark and far more erotic; while I appreciate the sentiment, I cannot say with utter certainty that I wouldn't create a hellhole to live in. I certainly more than deserve it. I have to pay a visit to my witch friends now to see about a malevolent spirit possession, but perhaps when I continue, I should start at the beginning.

Well, that was much ado about nothing. After heading up to the Ellwyn's residence, where they are keeping the possessed body of a mage named Caleb, they had hoped to figure out how to remove said spirit. This spirit, going by the name of Fred, managed to lock himself into Caleb's body and had attempted to use his newly corporeal form to enact some sort of ghostly vigilante justice on the vampire that had killed him many years ago. Needless to say, he was unsuccessful at his effort. From what I understand, he needs to work on his aim with a giant wooden stake. I was given the tip from a hunter a ways back to press the stake under the ribcage and upwards towards the heart. I'm going to assume he didn't get that memo, so all he had was a ticked off vampire with an enormous splinter sticking out of her chest. I suppose Caleb should be happy he wasn't completely drained and tossed into the sea, but we do have the veil to uphold, after all. Ah yes...the veil. I will explain all in good time, of course. We discovered that this spirit had managed to maintain his control of Caleb's body by use of a magic spell and a seal, or magic symbol, carved into the palm of his hand. Had you seen this fellow, you probably would have missed it. He's so covered in ink he could very likely join the circus, or perhaps a rock band. Unfortunately, he passed out before we had a chance to bring back Caleb. Being drained of 3 pints of blood will do that to you. Hopefully, today will see to the conclusion of this strange affair.

As I finished off yesterday, I should explain several things should anyone other than myself find this journal some day. As I'm obviously a delusional drunk, perhaps it will bring several hours of entertainment to whatever normal person that stumbles upon it. But please, humor this writer and let me detail my psychosis properly. I set off to Ravenhurst on the quixotic mission of tracking down my estranged daughter and her two friends that disappeared on a road trip up to Seattle over Winter Break. Why I assumed I could accomplish what trained law enforcement could not, I have no idea. I wasn't thinking rationally. Then again, losing my daughter after having just lost my dear Lily isn't conducive to making logical decisions. Having managed to stop drinking and mostly straightened my life out at that point, (as I sip from my glass of vodka), I was thinking I had finally turned the corner. I could start rebuilding the damage I had done with my daughter and...well, I don't know. We weren't going to be heading off to Disneyland hand in hand, but her speaking to me again would be a nice start. When she disappeared, I was beside myself. I dropped everything and headed out to Stanford, interviewing all her friends, rifling through her things, and basically making a nuisance of myself. Her credit card summaries and phone records were far more helpful in the long run, but I was able to pin down her most likely last stop; this tiny fishing town in Puget Sound named Ravenhurst.

Calling Ravenhurst strange and eccentric doesn't do it justice. It's a town where the mayor sits fishing on a boat in his long johns night and day. A place where the police force is lead by a vampire with a predilection for walking around in her bra and bunny slippers, outdoors, mind you. It's a good thing most crime takes place at night. A place where a pack of werewolves live in an old mining camp, sprawled out like a bunch of drunk college freshmen. Let's just say it gives Twin Peaks a run for it's money in inexplicable strangeness. Of course, none of this is public knowledge to the average people going about their daily routine. No, this is behind what the supernaturals in this town refer to as the veil. They, being the vampires, werewolves, witches, etc., realize that they are far outnumbered by normal, tax paying citizens and live accordingly. That is to say, they live in the shadows; disguised as average Joe and Jill Six-pack. I suppose this works out well for everyone; the unnatural creatures get to continue their uneasy truce with each other and society at large, and the average human doesn't call in the National Guard on a monster hunting expedition.

As of this writing, I still have no idea where my daughter is. I would say that, months later, I can officially call my trip to Ravenhurst a failure. Well, perhaps not completely a failure. Susan's two friends were discovered, disheveled and apparently smelling like a sewer, but alive and healthy within an extensive mining tunnel. They are understandably traumatized and have not been forthcoming about what happened. I think I will speak with the medical personnel dealing with them once again. It's very easy to get distracted in this town. I've been putting this off far too long. Perhaps this journal is helping, after all.

What a mess this is turning out to be. Once again, I have no answers and those around me continue to be imperiled by my ignorance. At one time, I was a successful, renowned professor respected by his peers and the young minds he helped shape. Now, it's a wonder I'm able to dress myself in the morning. I continue making foolish decisions that even a hormone fueled teenager would stop and say, 'Wow...that was really stupid.' It appears my first drink will be a double tonight.

On my way up to the Ellwyn residence to check on Caleb's injuries from his spiritual carjacking, I bumped into the good sheriff, one of my only true friends in town. Someone who has been instrumental in furthering the investigation into my daughter's disappearance, who actually gave a damn and followed up on my leads, and, oh yes, also happens to be a vampire. It's been a rough couple of weeks dealing with Sheriff Keliah Angelis as she has not been herself lately. When we first met, she was a deputy doing the follow up interview with the frantic, grieving father who had lost his daughter. This thin redhead with a flawless, pale complexion, clear sky-blue eyes, and a hint of a Parisian accent made a call at the guest inn I had been staying in. I must say, I wasn't in the mood to relive the pain and anguish I had been going through, but she did her best to make it as easy as possible. I could tell it was something she was unaccustomed to; her cold, competent, military air spoke of someone not used to dealing with emotion, let alone grieving parents. She stuck at it for the next several weeks, bringing me news of what the official investigations had discovered; more often that not, it was nothing. Still, it was that proactive action that helped me believe that someone took me seriously. I had begun to wonder if anyone would ever again at this stage of my life.

She seemed nervous that night, following after me as I slowly ambled up the roadside. It took a few bantering questions to get the truth out of her; there was a rogue werewolf making trouble and she was worried that I would encounter him on the way to my destination. It seemed she was going to allow the existing werewolf pack to handle this situation internally; I think this bothered her more than anything. She is a bit of a control freak. When we arrived to the Ellwyn's place without incident, I was beginning to have hopes that this evening would be less bowel shaking and terrifying than had become the norm in this town. I'm sure I must have mentally jinxed the situation; I didn't used to be a superstition man, but learning that all your childhood fears are not only real but living amongst you will do that. I certainly don't walk under ladders anymore. As we both entered the house, we settled into a conversation with Lexie Ellwyn, the youngest of the sisters, and Nicky, another magic user who had been helping with Caleb's situation. The subject turned to the two found friends of Susan's who were in the Sheriff's care; they had been unresponsive to questioning and it seemed they were bringing in some expert help from Seattle. Lexie began to ask more and more questions of Kel about the girls which caused the sheriff to...change. Moments later, Lexie began to scream and cringe with fear as she insisted the house was being attacked by ravens, attempting to burst in through the windows. There was nothing outside and it might have been written off as too much alcohol and scary movies for an overactive imagination had Kel not begun to laugh maniacally, like a dime store villain. She seemed to be taking pleasure in Lexie's fear; feeding off of it. It all ceased as Kel's countenance changed and she yelled out, "Stop!" Just as quickly as the panic had started, it was gone, as was the sheriff, barreling out the door with inhuman speed.

Lexie was shaken by the incident, still unsure of exactly what happened. Nicky...well, who knows with Nicky? It's hard to get past the snark and pose of affected nonchalance to see what he's truly thinking. Given his previous history with vampires and Kel's transparency in the matter makes it pretty likely he knows something is up. Kel's super villain laugh was enough to make anyone suspicious of her intent, especially me. This isn't the first time I've experienced it.

Several weeks back, the sheriff brought me to see the two girls rescued from the mines, Kim Ling and Cheryl Kowalski. I stood in Kel's small living room, nervously waiting to see what I would learn about Susan. As it turned out, it was more a confirmation of something I already knew. The small, pale, Asian was the first to descend the staircase. Before I had a chance to do anything, she began to scream at the top of her lungs. Before long, Cheryl followed, and began to berate me on Susan's behalf. She told me what I already knew. Susan hated me and all that I had put her through those past several years. She blamed me for Lily's death; and why not? I blame me for my Lily's death. Even having expected something of this nature to get out, it still felt like a shot in the gut. I could barely think or breathe and suddenly I was surrounded by a swarm of bees that had congregated outside of Kel's apartment. They clung to my coat, crawled through my hair, began to buzz about me. I had no idea what was happening; I just knew I had to get out of there. So I ran. I ran screaming into the night. Had I not slammed into a stop sign (does that qualify as irony?), I probably would have ended up in the ocean. As I lay there, trying to catch my breath, the bees had seemingly vanished in thin air. All I could remember was Cheryl's hateful words and the peel of Sheriff Angelis laughing like mad as I fled the scene.

Not too long after that, I was in my old apartment at the inn as I was working on a new spell, a clever little piece of magic that would give me notice of danger. Considering the things that had happened, it was long overdue. I had hear the sheriff in the apartment above me; she was looking for another of her kind and chatting on her radio with dispatch. As I finished up my spell, transforming the handle into an early warning detector, it was put to use almost immediately. It began to pulse in large waves; at first I thought I may have flubbed somewhere in the preparation as I had only tested it out a few times before. However, I heard a thump onto the deck outside my room and a small shadowy figure was suddenly at the door, trying to force it open. I heard the whisper, inhuman and hungry, and instantly knew that it was the sheriff. Well, it was the sheriff, but sounded nothing like her. It sounded predatory, single minded in it's desire to enter the room and consume it's prey...that being me. I don't know why she stopped; it was as if she was called away moments before she was able to break open the door. Needless to say, I began my search for a new address the following day.

When I spoke to the sheriff shortly after this, she had no recollection of any of these events. She apologize profusely of course, frightened at her inability to recall large swaths of her nights and embarrassed at being unable to control herself. I am sure once I speak to her again tonight, I will hear more of the same. I don't know what is affecting my friend in such a manner, but I do know that something has to be done. I fear the thought of bringing in the circle of witches of which I'm still an outsider; they will no doubt be furious I haven't brought up these past incidents to their attention. Who else can I turn to, though? I have no connections with the only other law enforcement on the island, the park rangers. From what I understand, the man who leads them is a shifter. The peace between the wolves and vampires has been only slightly less dramatic than the Palestinian-Israeli conflict. What are a pack of wolves to do when told of a delusional, unstable vampire in a high place of authority?

I need a plan, without any facts or idea of what I'm doing. This seems to be the theme to my experiences here in Ravenhurst. Tonight, one way or another, I will confront the sheriff and see if she will be cooperative. I pray this is the case.

I had high hopes for shedding a light on a few of the current predicaments that are afflicting my tiny slice of Ravenhurst this weekend, but my search lead only to dead ends and crushing disappointment. It would have been almost a complete waste if not for the events that occurred when I returned home. Caleb, the fellow magic user with a hitchhiking ghost in the driver's seat, seems to be back to normal. Well, whatever would qualify as normal for a man who speaks to spirits. Moments after I walked through my door, the youngest Ellwyn sister arrived to pick up her scooter that she had left parked on my front stoop. She had more bad news to share, mostly dealing with my inexplicable series of bad decisions lately, specifically a certain vampire sheriff who cannot control her urges. She asked that I return to their place so that I could help her keep an eye on a still unconscious Caleb, and when we returned, he was decidedly the opposite of that. Fred, the psychopathic Casper, wanted a one way ticket out of the body he hijacked back to the umbra.

We were more than happy to send him back, although the exact methods of doing so weren't obvious to either Lexie or myself. We obviously both missed the class on swapping souls within a living body and had to seek outside assistance. Luckily, Lexie's older sister Blaise was around and was able to patch together a method to bring Caleb back from beyond. As Fred hadn't been particularly helpful, we had to improvise and use the strength of our small cabal of witches to reach into the umbra with a beacon of sorts that Caleb was able to recognize. When he did make it back into his body, he wasn't in good shape. That was partly my fault; we had to break the seal that Fred had permanently imprinted onto Caleb's hand. I never thought I would be using my Swiss army knife to be cutting up someone's hand...at least on purpose. Lucky for Caleb, Lexie is a world class healer and will most likely have him patched up in no time. The work she's done on my damaged knee has been far better than the quacks that have performed multiple surgeries on it these past several years. I do not know this Caleb very well, but I am glad that he is back. From what I have seen, a gathering of witches are much more powerful than the sum of their parts. Should something like the fog incident occur, it's best to have as many available as possible.

I do hope this Fred character is gone for good; I can't blame him for wanting to leave Ravenhurst, but, much like me, his mission here has been a complete failure. I should probably discuss this with Caleb when I get the chance. We should probably take better precautions to make sure nobody else hotwires his head and takes him for a spin. It could end up a lot worse than an angry vampire.

As I mentioned, I headed into Seattle this weekend to follow a lead, crazy as it was, regarding what was happening with Kel. She seems to link the feelings of rage she cannot control to the events of the Fog passing through town this past month. While it's definitely gone now, it's not a given that it's influence has completely passed. I had done a little research and managed to track down several citizens that had been in Ravenhurst during the last time the Fog came to town. Considering how long ago this event was, it wasn't surprising that the two still in the local area were in assisted living homes. I thought that if I could establish some trust, I might be able to learn a bit more about the aftermath of the previous event. Perhaps something like this had happened before? Unfortunately, neither were particularly helpful. Ginny MacFarlane had difficulty remembering her name and apparently dressing or feeding herself. James Campbell was far more cognizant of his surroundings, he was quite young during the event and his memory wasn't clear enough to separate fact from childhood nightmares. He did enjoy talking about it, though. I get the feeling he was quite popular on campfire story time when he was younger. However, there was no mention of anything resembling what the sheriff seems to be suffering.

I made time at the Kenmore shooting range outside of Seattle to brush up on my firing technique, finding I was extremely rusty. Actually, not able to hit the broadside of a barn was the comment of the fellow next to me after a break. I'll admit, handguns were never my specialty; I had to switch over to the rifle range just to see if I had completely lost my ability. No, I was still accurate as ever with a 22. Were I able to carry one around in my pocket, I wouldn't have spent another couple hours back at the pistol range shortly after. I'm not sure what bullets will do to any supernatural creature, but should they slow them down and alert the authorities, that will be enough. I refuse to be a walking buffet, regardless of Kel's assertions that she had warned the local vampires to stay away. Honestly, my age and looks probably do a better job of keeping leeches at bay than anything else. As most tend to be beautiful in death as they were in life, they're generally drawn to those that resembled themselves. Nobody will mistake this broken down drunk of being full of life or gracing the cover of Men's Health. I'm old and ugly, so I have that going for me...which is nice.

I've avoided writing about my disappointment regarding the sheriff long enough. After I confronted her on Friday night, she agreed, nay, promised to lay low and not put herself in a position where she might hurt someone. On my return from Seattle, Lexie informs me that she attacked Nicky outside of the bar, much in the same way she had done so with Lexie. From what I understand, that turned out quite badly for her as Nicky is a walking fire starter. This is either a cry for help or a giant red flag telling all that she cannot be trusted anymore. This needs to be resolved soon, before anyone else is hurt. I'm still suspicious of the two girls pulled out of the mines a few weeks back. They seem to be on the edge of several strange incidents as of late, including a suicide over the weekend. The person in question was a psychologist that was brought in specifically to deal with Kim and Cheryl's trauma. I'm pretty sure a giant, blinking neon sign couldn't be anymore obvious identifying these two with being involved in the mass hallucinations. I need to see them and find out what they know; I don't know that I have what it takes to stop Kel should she continue on this path. I get the feeling I'll be drinking early today.

I feel as though I'm running in place; I haven't gotten any closer to the truth regarding what is affecting Kel, I haven't been able to contact those two trauma victims, and the strange hallucinations seem to be spreading. The unrest in those around me seems to be building and there isn't much I can do about it. I feel impotent, in a way that viagra could never solve. This special gift I've discovered is supposed to help. Why can't I figure anything out? My failures continue to pile up. Reading these past couple entries, I'm a walking ray sunshine, aren't I?

I supposed I haven't completely been sitting on my thumbs; I managed to interview several of the people who have had these delusions similiar to the one I experienced. Obviously, Lexie had been the most recent that I knew of, but then I was present when it happened. I already know who the culprit was in that particular case, but the other two incidents I learned about cast doubt that Keliah is completely alone in this ability. The first person that was brought to my attention was a bookish young lady by the name of Amanda. She was drawn into Ravenhurst from the calling; she's one of us, although completely inexperienced. Her hallucination was similiar to that of Lexie; a flock of ravens began to swirl around her head and attack. She was dragged away from the scene by another new mage potential by the name of Thomas. Much like Lexie's vision, Thomas could not see the birds and had no idea what she was freaking out over. What's of particular interest is that Kel was nowhere to be seen during this event. The only other person of interest in the streets at that moment was apparently Kim Ling, one of the rescued victims. Why she was wandering around unsupervised, I couldn't say. However, it's of note that she was there when I suffered my own hallucination.

Oddly enough, the next vision was suffered by Thomas on a different day. While Keliah was present at this event, Thomas was very insistent that the person responsible for it was Jesse Bratcher, a deputy that works closely with the sheriff. They apparently have issues; the two men were reportedly in a huge argument that day over handling of the suicide victim at the picnic. From what I've heard from Lexie, they've had several other issues, so his testimony on the manner is a bit tainted by his prejudices. Still, it's best to have an open mind. What connects Kel and Jesse aside from working together on a professional basis? If they are both affected, is long term exposure to the sheriff enough to alter them, or is it something more? I'm hesitant to refer to it as a disease considering the known subject is technically dead. Can the walking dead get sick? It's still far more likely there is magic involved here; I've seen enough this past week to know that practically anything is possible as far as bodily possession; if there really is a man behind the curtain, it might be possible to identify them if we can figure out what their goal is. At first it seemed to just be mischief; now, there is most likely blood on their hands with the suicide of that psychologist brought in from Seattle.

I've been putting off calling the sheriff this past week. I doubt she'll pick up, but I'm more worried that she will. I'm not sure what to tell her about my progress which is practically nonexistant and I don't really want to hear her excuses for wandering through town after she promised to lay low. I've told Lexie a little about what has happened, but I fear it hasn't been enough. I know the right course of action, I just can't do it right now.

It's been several days since I've written anything in here. I had been trying to make this a habit, however, certain outside influences seem to make that difficult. The main one seems to be a certain neighbor in town that has a penchant for breaking and entering, grand larceny, and flowers. But that's neither here nor there. It's a good thing I back up my hard drive regularly; I must remind myself to keep that regularly scheduled, should someone waltz into my home once again and repeatedly drop my computer on the floor. I must admit, replacing the drive was a lot easier than I expected; computers have always intimidated me. Besides, that's what tech support was for. However, with my new, shall we say skills, I'm learning to expand my horizons. I suppose once you're able to bend reality to your will, swapping out plug and play technology isn't as intimidating anymore.

While much was revealed to me this weekend, not much has changed. The sheriff still remains dangerous, liable to turn into Mrs. Hyde at any moment. I still have not been able to find Susan's two friends; they seem to be in hiding. Oh, and my home continues to be repeatedly invaded by lowlifes and criminals. Perhaps I should get a dog.

During one of Kel's episodes where she turns more into the bloodthirsty, evil creature that fits in more with the classical description of vampire than she normally exhibits, an interesting discovery was made. It appears that what is affecting her is some remains of the fog that terrorized the town recently, only at a much lower concentration. When it left her body, however temporary, I was able to sense what it was. It's definitely a feeling I won't forget for however many years I have left. However, while the fog seemed able to manifest the most terrifying beasts from even the worst nightmares, this infection or whatever it is seems to only be able to cause hallucinations. What worries me about that is, what happens if it gets more powerful? Delusions are dangerous enough as it is; the last thing we need is murderous, corporeal, fog ravens turning Ravenhurst into a Hitchcock movie.

Something we discovered that was far more important, however, was the fact that whatever power that faes use, glamour if my research is accurate, was able to not only dispel any sort of dark powers being utilized, it's strong enough to shock the fog out of the system of whoever is carrying it. Unfortunately, it doesn't appear to be permanent. I would surmise it can be made so with the right spell, although I have no idea where to start looking. It would probably have to be created from scratch, cobbled together with existing wards, perhaps. Still, that doesn't solve the mystery of where this new outbreak of the fog is emanating from. To send it away as we did the last time, we need to find where to strike at the heart of the beast, so to speak. As it seems these girls are involved somehow, perhaps the search should start where they came from; the mines.

speaking of faes, it appears that they have made a home here in Ravenhurst. The only fae I had ever encountered was the old sheriff, so I should have realized it was likely that there would be more. At first glance, I had no idea what I was seeing. The fae that used her power on Kel was a friend of Tabbie and a member of the neighborhood watch, Tay...or Tai. Something to that effect. She revealed herself to me, most likely by accident, when she forced her energy into the sheriff. Despite all the outrageous things I've seen here, it was still pretty shocking. She shimmered, as though her whole body was a pulsating light. It was gorgeous yet frightening; the power exhibited was enough to make something as evil as the fog turn tail and run. While she was not happy with what I saw (sending me veiled threats would probably qualify as non too pleased), I feel as though her and her kind may yet be able to assist in stamping it out. I brought it to the attention of Tabbie and she did say she would try and contact her friend. However, Tabbie had an attention span of a Cocker Spaniel before she was dropped on her head this weekend; I doubt I can depend on her. As I said; much is learned, but how to proceed without getting myself killed?

Well, I ran my theory about the fog in the mines by the sheriff tonight and she thought it wasn't a bad idea. That alone should give me pause considering I'm not entirely sure she's in control of her own actions. Could it be the fog has retreated from her at the moment due to others that it values more? Would this have even been a warning that the fog would have given her? Is it a trap that the fog would very much like to see happen; a group of damned fools wandering around it's lair and on it's own turf? Considering my batting average regarding wise decisions, it's most probably the latter. Still, I can't sit around forever. Now that I'm quite sure of what this is, I know that the coven can stop it. They did it before and most likely many times over the past several hundred years. This strange infection, however, seems new. Perhaps this sentient fog is learning new tricks? That doesn't bode well for the future. Well, I'll let the next generation worry about a slowly evolving evil when it visits their doorsteps. We have our own demons to deal with, so to speak.

Keliah tell me that she can talk to Kione and Ace, the alpha and his mate, about letting us into the mines under their pack house. Ace has apparently taken quite a liking to the sheriff; it's completely understandable in my opinion. However, I have no idea if that will extend to letting strangers back onto their property. From what she tells me, the last time people were in the mines, it resulted in Ace's subsequent arrest for brandishing a firearm and threatening to kill a news reporting team. I can see how the town of Ravenhurst might frown on that, delightful as the idea of this particular news team may be. There should be less cameras this time, so they may allow it. I'm not sure what the current state of affairs are between the witches and the wolves, but they did assist in getting rid of the fog in our last encounter. This may be a case of finishing what we started.

I could be completely off about this, but a quick survey of the mines should answer our question one way or another. While I doubt the fog will invite us in for tea, I think there may be an easier way to pull it out of it's hiding place. I recall that Blaise used a particular spell during our time camped out at the circle in the woods that really ticked off the fog. If we attempt that spell again, it should aggravate anything lurking below. Sure, it's equivalent to poking a hornet's nest, but it beats exploring every dangerous, pitch black tunnel that could collapse at any moment in search for something that doesn't even have a corporeal body. I'll have to run this by the sisters, and hopefully Tabbie as well. She is the godfather of the coven, after all. They may have some helpful suggestions, or the ability to talk me out of such a ridiculous, foolhardy idea. I best work on my wards.

I'm still a little shaky from my tumble down the stairs last night, but I felt that I should probably keep at least myself updated with the goings on here in Ravenhurst. Who knows if another fall will cause me to lose complete blocks of my memory? I understand that's a problem football players and boxers have. I did suffer several concussions back in my high school and college days; taking shots to the head, however well padded, will do that. Still, it's been a while since I needed the painful whiff of smelling salts. Luckily, I had access to something even better; a witch with a healing touch. Perhaps I should start where I left off.

Tabitha Blackthorne, aside from being my ex-landlady, an alcoholic, and possessing perhaps the worst tattoos known to mankind, also happens to be the head of the coven. She also happens to be difficult to pin down; she's been having man trouble lately. The kind that involve slashed tires and baseball bat strikes against ex's trucks. She's one dead dog short of being a walking country song. Either way, I figured the best person to run my theory by would be her, if I could hold her attention for more than 5 minutes. That turned out to be easier said than done, however, as she ignored my messages. I was forced to turn to the only other person I somewhat trust with these issues; Lexie Ellwyn, the aforementioned witch healer. She had been one of the first people I had encountered in Ravenhurst and been very helpful in my continuing exploration of harnessing the power of the source.

She had dropped by to check on me, I believe; I had a rough night where I couldn't sleep. Before I knew it, I was looking at an empty bottle of Smirnoff and working half way through another. I haven't been able to settle my mind ever since I felt the cold touch of the fog pass through me as it was driven from the sheriff's body. Just knowing it's out there, waiting, gathering strength, would be enough to make an Amish drink. If anything, this needs to be stopped just to save my liver. By the time I woke up the next day, she was in my kitchen brewing up tea. I'm not sure women her age actually cook anymore, but she certainly has the tea serving down pat. As I've told her, she pushes more tea than a Turkish rug peddler.

I was a little jittery that afternoon, not to mention suffering from the usual pounding headache that comes with dehydration and copious amounts of alcohol working their way out of my system. Either way, I laid out my case for what was happening and my theory regarding where the fog's most likely location was at. Lexie responded by looking at me as though I had lost my mind, asking me if I was alright or suffering hallucinations. Needless to say, our conversation didn't go well after that. I have a tendency to speak my mind a little more forcefully when I've been drinking, or so I've been told. Either way, she called her sister Blaise over to listen to the crazy old man with his crackpot theories. The arguments became heated and aside from the usual insults of being a broken down drunk, which I have to say, I resemble, I had to sit through lectures on doing proper research and standing together. That the coven can only reach it's potential and rise victorious if we work in unison. But of course, comrades.

Eventually, we decided to resolve the subject by tracking down Tabbie and finding out her opinion. This turned out to be much easier than my previous attempts; she was frolicking at the lake, complete with an inner tube and a cooler full of beer. Luckily (It's yet to be determined if this is good or bad luck), she didn't think I was crazy at all and thought it might be worth a peek in the mines. I promised to continue with my original plan of tracking down Kione and Ace to see if they would give us access to their property. The Ellwyn sisters are not pleased with her conclusion, but as they're constantly telling me, we have to work together to succeed. We'll see if they stand by their principles soon enough.

That was shortly before the staircase incident. Truthfully, my memory is still a little sketchy on exactly what happened. I'm hoping it stays that way. I have no desire to ever relive the visions that a possessed Keliah inflicted on me that night. Had I not been warded properly, it could have ended a lot worse than a bumped head. She's out of control; I didn't want to believe it before. I wanted to believe that fae had blown the fog out of her for good. Well, that almost got me killed. I do remember in the foggy recesses of my mind that the sheriff had come to deliver a message; stay away. I'm not sure whether to be flattered that the fog is even aware of my existence let alone considers me a threat in some way, or to figuratively and most likely literally piss my pants in fear. I woudl like to tell myself that we sent it away once, but I suppose that isn't true. It never left. It's still here. God help us all.

I suppose this is progress. While I've been trying to figure out what has been going on, it appears I was not alone in the supernatural community, as it were. The blinding fae I encountered the other night with the sheriff seems to be making her own plans moving forward as does another on the island I'm unfamiliar with. I was informed he was the alpha of all apha wolves on the island; here I had assumed it was Kione. Then again, what do I know about the shifters other than to give them a wide berth if encountered?

Lexie stopped by after work yesterday just as I was finishing up my evening routine of a protective ward and we began discussing what to do moving forward. I wanted to try and speak with the wolves and see if, at the very least, we could take a peek on their property with permission. We were discussing the best way to go about contacting them when it finally dawned on me I had the ability all along. Perhaps I should thank the sheriff for causing me to fall down the stairs on my head; it jarred loose a memory I had already forgotten. A few weeks back, I had encountered Kione's...mate? Girlfriend? I'm going to assume domestic partner is right out the window. Either way, I bumped into this particular young lady with a slight Texas drawl who goes by the name of Ace. She vaguely recognized me, I realized later by my scent, and asked a series of leading questions regarding the night we sent the fog away...or so we thought, anyhow. While I'm unaware of any official truce of agreement between our coven and Kione's pack, I did know that they had helped us that night at the source. We exchanged pleasantries and had a few drinks; more importantly, she had offered me her card in case she could be any assistance on finding my daughter. After tearing my wallet apart last night, I managed to dig it out of one of the pockets and set up a meeting.

I have to admit; I expected the pack house to resemble a frat house, complete with crushed beer cans and dirty laundry scattered about, but it was actually quite clean. I suppose the female nesting instinct extends to shifters as well. It was a quick meeting due to the fact that she was already in contact with Tai, the strange and threatening seelie fae, and this mystery alpha. She explained that they wished to meet to discuss the infection on the island and come up with a solution. I offered to bring in the leader of our coven and quickly left, sending out a text to the godfather herself, Tabbie.

She didn't seem to thrilled in our messages, so I'll assume that has to do with meeting this mystery alpha more than shirking her responsibilities. I'm sure it's a little of column A and a little of column B. No matter; if it's the movers and the shakers on the island, she better be there to make sure we don't get the short end of the stick. I wonder if the leader of the vampires will be called in to speak as well. Actually, I wonder who leads the vampires as of now. I know that this Angelika was holding together a council of some sort, but she's been gone for several weeks. I get the feeling nobody is minding the shop. I wonder if that was just perfect timing by the fog, or something more sinister.

All I wanted to do was watch the Bruins game. Only Boston can make me root for another country to defeat an American team. Never in my worst nightmares would I have expected what happened after I took that phone call right after face-off. I'm not talking about giving a lecture to powers of industry and your peers in your underwear kind of nightmares; I mean the dark edges of your mind. Fates worse than mere death at the hands of things that shouldn't exist. The kind of nightmares you think you put out of your head around 10 years old once you convinced yourself there is no monster in the closet or under your bed. It's that hindbrain fear of things our ancestors must have been aware of, driven out by years of civilization and modernization.

Lexie Ellwyn had finally tracked down the elusive shifter alpha, Kione, and he was willing to hear us out. I raced over to the pack house as quickly as I could and caught up with both of them as they were heading inside. I have to say, the man is somewhat terrifying all on his own. Tall enough to probably play center for the Knicks yet built like a linebacker, his feral eyes peek out from behind a forest of dreadlocks with a predatory gaze. I'm not sure he knows he's even doing it; he was extremely friendly and civil to us, which was a bit like watching a bear in a circus dressed in a clown suit. Oh sure, it seems tame and even somewhat cute, but you know behind the amusing facade is a 600 pound muscle bound beast of claws and fangs ready at any moment to tear your head off. We discussed my present theory about the fog somehow anchoring itself underneath his house in the mines and, while not exactly convinced, he was willing to take a peek down below. I'm sure the idea of something lurking below his pack unsettled him a bit. It would me. I was a family man...once.

He lead us down to the mine entrance and opened it up for both Lexie and I. He offered to take us in, probably more worried we'd get our damn fool heads crushed by an errant rock or slip down a sink hole. I'm very glad he did; I most likely wouldn't be writing this if he hadn't. My plan, once down there, was rather simple. I wanted to set up wards at the two entrances we were aware of to keep anything from escaping, then to cast a spell that would provoke the fog if it was down there. While this plan was probably as potentially dangerous as poking Kione with a silver letter opener, we didn't very many options. The tunnels down there were extensive; we could search for years and probably find nothing more than an early death with a tunnel cave in or a gas leak. I figured if we could seal the place up and catch the attention of this entity, we could might be able to do it a little damage and verify my theory all at the same time. As Lexie had said before, the fog hadn't needed to possess the bodies of anyone during that week it was here; I assumed this meant that it was in a weakened state. The fact that it could only create hallucinations as opposed to bring to life awful creatures as it had before seemed to only verify this conclusion. Of course my batting average for making wise decisions since I set foot in Ravenhurst is far below the Mendoza line, so I'm not exactly sure why I was so surprised when everything went to shit.

I set everything up perfectly for the spell and most likely in record time; we really wanted out of that place. Lexie had been whimpering about enclosed spaces the entire time and I think it was starting to get to all of us, even Kione. It was there that I should have gone with my gut. A strange, hot wind passed through the cavern which smelled of death, almost like it was inviting us to stay. Both of my companions felt it was time leave, but I decided to press on with the spell. Looking back on it, I can see it was vengeance that was blinding me to the dangers. I wanted to hurt the fog, make it suffer as it had done to me.

In the middle of our casting, a felt a razor sharp pain in my leg, as though a red hot knife was slicing into it. At first I was just stunned; I had warded my body with an armor spell. The amount of force to do something like that should have knocked me off my feet, yet whatever had struck me had passed through my leg as though the ward wasn't even there. When I finally looked down and realized the pain came from the clawed hand that was attached to some sort of dessicated monster crawling out of the earth right in the middle of my pentagram, I practically had a heart attack. Luckily for Lexie and I, Kione reacted in the most logical way necessary; he helped me break the clutching hand on my ankle, picked both of us up, and ran out of there as fast as he could. Even in human form, he's a damn Olympic sprinter, hardly bothered by carrying hundreds of pounds hoisted on his shoulders.

The creatures, whatever they were, began to multiply as we ran, or more appropriately, Kione ran hauling us both like luggage. Once we were outside, Kione gave me a couple minutes to activate the ward or he was going to shift and...well, I'd rather not think about what would have happened there. He probably would have rushed into the tunnels and however strong and capable he is, that would probably have been another needless death on my conscience. I had enough juice to activate the ward I had prepared and stopped those things from getting any closer. It wasn't quick enough for Kione, however, and we got a front row view of a man transforming in to a beast. For a moment there, I thought he was going to take it out on us, but he leaped away into the night, howling like a madman...or a wolf, I suppose. From what I understand, it's tough to put the beast back into the bottle once it's been provoked.

I don't remember much after that for a while; the effort needed to activate the ward combined with the wound I suffered back in the mines pretty much knocked me out. I can't remember how long I was out, trapped in a nightmare of my own making. It must have been the wound; the fog had entered my body and it was beginning to do a number on my head. I had the most horrible dreams; dreams of unspeakable acts of torture and death that the fog thrives on. I had experienced similar dreams when the fog was here the first time. This time was different, though. Instead of on the receiving end, I was inflicting this pain on others. I was acting as the hand of destruction and in the darkest part of my mind, I was thoroughly enjoying it. It was that freedom I feel when I drink, the freedom to do or say anything I want, damn the consequences, but amplified to an excessive and dangerous level. I would not have thought I was capable of murderous thoughts like those. Before the accident and before Susan's disappearance, I doubt I would have been capable. How much of this change is the fog and how much is it Ravenhurst? I'd rather not dwell on these thoughts, for fear they will continue to penetrate my dreams.

I was in pretty rough shape when I finally came to; I'm sure neither of the Ellwyn sisters were particularly happy to have to take care of me for a couple days. Lexie's healing abilities are impressive, though, and it was only a matter of time before I was back on my shaky feet once again. I haven't spoken much about my dreams, for obvious reasons. I don't feel a pull to serve at the side of some dark force as seems to have happened to the sheriff, but I can still feel the fog in my veins. It's like a distant echo, taunting me with my darkest thoughts. I just have to remind myself that I would never do those things. At least, I can't imagine...perhaps imagine is the wrong word. I need some air; it's beginning to get stuffy in this house.

Theory is nice, but nothing quite replaces field work. Of course, when said theories involve what most people think are fictional creatures, practical application is almost an imperative. The movies are wrong; a stake through the heart doesn't kill a vampire, strange as that sounds. I've been told it takes either cremation, exposure to sunlight, or the severing of the head from the body. I haven't extended my experimentation that far, and frankly, I'd like to hope I never do. I'm sure, should this journal fall into another's hands at a future date, this will seem to be an odd beginning to an entry. It gets far more strange, but if my time in Ravenhurst has taught me anything, it's to expect the unexpected. It all started with a phone call from Lexie...again.

I was recovering, quite poorly I might add, from my incident down in the mines earlier in the week. The Ellwyn sisters had put me up for several days so Lexie could try and work her magic on my ankle, with very little success. It seemed that the fog creature that tore up my leg had done so using some sort of magic even the two sisters were unfamiliar with. Now, I'm no stranger to injuries that professionals can't properly diagnose or cure, but it was a blow to me considering I had just recently regained the use of my knee and was starting to feel like a whole person, at least physically, once again. Instead, I was resting on the Ellwyn's sofa, trying to forget the pain shooting through my leg while I idly channel surfed. The two sisters had been discussing the next step, now that we had discovered the culprit to so many of the town's problems. Lexie's plan was to somehow capture the sheriff, since she was the one confirmed case of possession, and see if we could figure out how to remove the influence of the dark evil from her body. She had left for work, presumably sitting around their crystal shop pretending to work or brew tea for fictional customers (I've seen a total of 5 customers since I've been here; the only way they could possibly be making money is with magic) when I received an urgent call from her telling me to get down to the sheriff's station. It seemed that someone else had done her job for her; they had managed to get a hold of the sheriff herself.

I rushed downtown, as quickly as I could, which was a race I'm sure I would have lost to the nearest toddler. However, while I apparently missed all the excitement of Keliah and an associate managing to burn down part of the bar and her subsequent take down, they had not figured out what to do. Strangely enough, they were all looking to the mages, or more specifically, the crippled drunk who had wandered into the station. I'll admit, it's nice to feel wanted, but it's a lot of pressure to walk into; I suppose my grey hair and erudite manner have confused people into thinking I know what I'm doing. No matter; I've been alive long enough to know that nobody knows much of anything and that if you pretend well enough, people will go along with it. I headed upstairs, followed by Kione, a new deputy named Tom Navarita, and Linzee Demontico, of all people. Lexie was already up in the sheriff's office setting down the etchings that her sister had designed in order to contain a prisoner of the sheriff's power. It was my job to actually set up the ward.

Kione went into the cells and fetched an unconscious and manacled Keliah, placing her onto the etchings. It was somewhat odd to see her in such a state; she always seemed in control, or did an excellent job of convincing everyone else. I wasn't sure what my emotional state would be when I saw her; after all, she had tried to to kill me the last time we met. Honestly, that wasn't even the worst part; it was using the image of my daughter that hurt more than anything, reminding me of my failure as a father and a man. I pushed away those thoughts rather quickly, though. She looked rather peaceful lying down on her office floor, but I knew better than anyone what she was capable when she was conscious. The thoughts of what would happen if she woke up were enough to spur on my actions and I was able to set up the prison ward quite effectively. I altered Blaise's spell a bit, but mostly due to inexperience. I would later learn what my errors were. One thing I've always been good at is learning after my mistakes. Considering the amount I make, you would think I was the smartest man alive.

With the ward up, everyone seemed to want to be anywhere but there. Kione and Tom wanted to run back to the pack house, Ms. Demontico had some other pressing issues to deal with, and I'm quite sure the sheriff had several places she would have rather been at that moment. As nobody had a plan nor even a glimmer of an idea of what to do next, I decided to send them on their way and let Lexie begin making contact with our coven so we could come up with a plan of what to do with Keliah. After we were able to shut down the sheriff's station and have their communications center moved, we were in a good position to come up with a workable solution and didn't need to feel rushed. As luck would have it, Tabbie and Blaise showed up about the same time, quickly followed by Thomas Warpath and a new fellow to our ranks, Hiroshi. This stroke of luck was cut short when Tabbie inexplicably decided to run out, leaving the matter in our hands.

Blaise quickly assessed the situation and decided that our best hope for success in curing the sheriff would be a sort of enema by the source. As she explained so succinctly, the fog seems to be the antithesis to the source, so pushing it through Kel's body repeatedly should completely pull all traces of the evil out. There's still the matter of the newly exercised fog floating about, but Lexie's elemental ability combined with our proximity to powering it by the source should allow us to send the fog on it's way before any further harm could be had. This seemed like a pretty practical solution with an even larger elephant in the room; how were we going to get a pissed off, powerful, and possessed vampire all the way to the source and to stand still while the magic did it's work on her body? The answer to this question was just as obvious, albeit extremely disturbing. We needed Keliah unconscious and in what I believe is referred to as torpor; we needed to stake the vampire.

As I snapped my cane in half on the table, I was reminded of the conversation the sheriff and I had when we both became aware of her problem. She had begged me, in melodramatic fashion no less, to do what had to be done. While I'm not stranger to blood or killing, this has thankfully been left to animals such as quail and deer. The idea of jamming a jagged piece of wood through an enemy's chest is disconcerting at best; having to do it to Keliah would put me through more years than I have left of therapy. At least, it would have the old Skip. I've been surprisingly good at adapting to my new life here, so well that I'm beginning to worry. I'm sure the havoc the fog wrecked within my body helped steel my nerve, but I can't blame the ability to stick a broken cane through Kel's heart on one try on outside influences and several years of fencing classes. I couldn't look in her eyes when I did the deed; I took a few practice strokes, then jammed the stake right under her rib cage as Nicky's friend Penny had advised. I'm pretty sure there was a scream, my hand suddenly became slick with blood, and it was suddenly over. I just had to keep telling myself that it was for the best and it was to save her, not destroy her. She's a soldier and I've seen her with some pretty terrible wounds before; hopefully she wouldn't hold this against me. Hopefully I wouldn't hold this against me.

After the shock wore off, Blaise shimmied out the back window to find a boat, Thomas eased her body down as I let loose the ward, and I quickly found a length of cord to we could use to lower her body out the back of the sheriff's station. Lexie headed downstairs to distract one of the new deputies; we really didn't want to explain why we were carrying a lifeless sheriff out the front door. It just didn't seem proper. Getting out of the building and into a boat was a lot easier than I expected; I suppose it helps she weighs all of 85 pounds soaking wet. After I managed to clean off my bloodied hands, we all slipped past the deputy as Lexie continued to flirt with him and agreed to meet up at the source. I didn't ride in the boat; I didn't need any fuel for my already disturbing nightmares.

We all eventually met up at the source; some sooner than others. It was one of the longest walks of my life, only partially due to the fact that my ankle was still feeling as though it was on fire everytime I took a step. I kept running through my mind what would happen if this didn't work. What were we going to do with the sheriff? Were we going to have to destroy her? Give her a Viking funeral? There were a lot of things left unsaid between us, it hardly seemed fair for things to end that way. Then again, life is generally not concerned with anyone's idea of fairness. It just is. As I practically crawled up the hill to meet up with Blaise, Thomas, and Hiroshi, with Lexie not too far behind, they had already moved Keliah into position and Blaise was already working out the proper incantation. She even had some concoction she had mixed up to hopefully keep the fog from attempting to latch on to any of us standing around. I wasn't too concerned about that; I don't think that it can possess a living creature. At least, that's what my ankle was telling me. I was very grateful we had Thomas and Hiroshi there that night; I don't think I had much fight left in me at that point. It had been a trying week to say the least and I was almost completely spent. We gathered our energy and funneled it into Blaise for the spell, watching the source rack Kel's body about like a ragdoll. I'm not saying she would thank me for stabbing her in the chest with my cane, but I think she was fortunate to have been unconscious for that spell. No doubt she would be feeling it when she awoke. We felt the dark energy leave her, then quickly transitioned into the second part of our spell. Lexie took over from here and blew that disoriented bit of a fog to kingdom come, not to mention almost blowing us along with it.

The sheriff is back with us at the Ellwyn's home; I've placed her in a ward for now until we can be sure the spell was successful. I'm quite hopeful that it worked; I've become used to her at this point. Besides, she still hasn't fulfilled her promise of finding my daughter. I'm going to hold her to that, no matter what happens.

No matter what has happened before, things can always get worse. I would say this week was a perfect illustration of this saying; Ravenhurst seems to embody Murphy's Law more than any location I can remember in my life. I am grateful I've managed to remain out of the emergency room so far, which is a happy change. Unfortunately, my particular case of bad luck seems to have been passed on to poor Lexie Ellwyn. Before I confuse myself, perhaps I should pick up where I left off.

We had the sheriff trapped on the blood ward prison for a time, until she was relatively healthy and recovered enough to start talking again. Gaping chest wounds tend to make people reticent, even supernatural undead that can recover from practically anything. The strangest portion of this recovery was the fact that Ace, the mate to the alpha of the shifter pack from the mine house, showed up to offer her blood to Keliah after I requested assistance from Ms. DeMontico. From what I had gathered, wolves and leeches were not best of buddies; the politics of dealing with the fog certainly makes for strange bedfellows. Once the sheriff was feeling relatively...inhuman once again, we decided she had a long enough incubation period to test and see if our unorthodox methods had cured her. We once again cast the dispelling magic, this time without any skeletal monster interference, and found no trace of the evil. Well, I shouldn't say no trace; my ankle burned like hell as the spell did it's work; it seemed the fog had managed to worm it's way into my flesh more than I had suspected. The spell was a success, however; we killed two birds with one stone. We cleared Keliah so she could go back to doing whatever it is she does and my ankle began to heal properly with Lexie's help.

The trouble of which I've mentioned above started once again with a phone call. I'm tempted to toss that damned mart phone off a cliff for all the good it's done me. Ms. DeMontico was calling once again, asking that we help heal another infected vampire. Lexie and I headed into town to find out the details from DeMontico, which was a distasteful as you might imagine. She no longer uses her human facade with us; she's a cold, evil bitch that would just as soon snap us in half as look at us, but for now she needs us. I begin to worry about what will happen when we are no longer useful in her world. The vampire in question comes from a strange clan called the Malkavian. Their blood apparently has an infection all it's own which slowly turns the members insane and highly dangerous. Had I known this when it was proposed we try and heal him, I would have put my foot down and outright refuse, damn the consequences. However, hindsight is 20/20, and considering my track record, it's not surprisng what happened next.

Once we got the strange little man secured behind the ward and unstaked for the sheriff to question later, the little bastard threw a syringe at me. Thankfully, I was warded with my armored skin and it bounced off harmlessly, but it was certainly an inauspicious beginning. This small psychopath wasted no time ranting and threatening all sorts of horrible tortures once he was free as he bounced off the ward like the Tazmanian devil. I was tired from the warding and completely frustrated with this responsibility being thrust on us, as though we knew what we were doing. Kel was one thing, but this evil little man was not part of any deal. I'm finding that vampires disgust me on a visceral level; the nickname leech is entirely appropriate. They're a virus that feeds on the living while leaving nothing but death and destruction in their wake. I much preferred when they were a caricature boogie man stalking nubile actresses on the silver screen. The reality is, as always, a lot harsher than the movies.

I needed a cigarette after all that had happened and was frustrated to realize that my pack was empty. I hadn't had a chance to pick up any refills since I'd been mostly bedridden the past week or so. It was about that time that the sheriff showed up once again. I was happy to leave the raving lunatic under her care; while they couldn't be more different, they were still of the same kind. It was this fateful choice that resulted in Lexie's injuries. I was gone a while; contrary to Keliah's accustaions afterwards, I was not drinking. She should know; she practically burned down the bar herself. No, I was sitting under the bridge, just enjoying a peaceful moment and wishing that I was back at the university. This is a fun time of the year; graduating class setting off into the world, fresh faced and burdened with back breaking student loans, not to mention mostly useless degrees. Sure, I'm cynical, but it's still nice to watch true hope in young faces before the world grinds away their will and spirit with it's capriciousness and random cruelties. Anything to keep me away from the Ellwyn's place; my nightmares are bad enough at the moment. It's the reason I didn't even think about heading home, despite the fact that it's a few steps from the general store. I was worried I would see her there again. Susan. I can't bear to see her face in any reality.

I knew something was wrong when the connection with the ward I had created had suddenly ceased. I rushed back up to the house as quickly as I could, but I knew in the pit of my stomach I was far too late to do anything. My quickly developing magical sensitivites revealed that Blaise's ward on the house had been torn asunder. When I stepped in the house, it looked like a tornado had passed through it. Quickly vaulting up the steps, I realized it was more of the Tazmanian devil variety; this Malkavian named Remi had somehow either broken out of my ward or been broken out by someone else. Lexie was a collection of cuts and bruises, barely holding onto consciousness at that point. After an exchanging recriminations with the sheriff for a few minutes, the story finally came out. Another infected vampire, one that Keliah is only vaguely familiar with, had come and used her connection to the fog to wreck unholy hell on the household. When all was said and done, Remi and this mystery woman had vanished, leaving Lexie in a broken pile at the bottom of the stairs. It seems Remi had even taken time to feed on her. The sheriff had patched her up as best she could until she took after them, to no avail.

Lexie is still resting; I believe she has a very serious concussion, not to mention various other injuries. Luckily for her, she seems to have made it through the encounter in one piece. How do you heal a healer? that's the question of the weekend; until she's back to her senses, I don't know what we're going to do. Well, other than to not answer the phone when Ms. DeMontico calls again looking for staked vampire storage.

One of these days I will heed my own sage advice. Unfortunately, this day is still somewhere off in the future. Ms. DeMontico called me up shortly after the disaster at the Ellwyn's home and Lexie's subsequent beating to ask that we handle another staked vampire. I quickly informed her that this house does not have a sign for staked vampire storage and that there was no way in hell we were going to give Remi a further reason to finish what he started. However, it appeared that the leech in question was Keliah's childe, or something...they have a bond that I still don't quite understand. I would imagine it's much like childbirth; you can explain the mechanics, but the experience exists so far outside of an appropriate analogy that you must experience it yourself. Either way, I knew that Kel would do anything to help Celeste due to their connection and that I couldn't refuse assistance. The fact that the sheriff can still feel empathy and emotion towards others makes her fairly unique in the vampire community. To purposely make her lose faith in humanity is a bridge I'm certainly not crossing. Then again, bringing the equivalent of a bloody carcass into the Ellwyn's house while being circled by angry sharks was too foolish, even for me. I told her that I would call her back once we found a location.

Keliah decided that her apartment would be suitable enough, and for once, I agreed. Aside from the fact that it was far from us, it also happened to be very close to a population center and therefore much harder to wreck unholy havoc at that location. After a few phone calls back and forth, we agreed to meet at the sheriff's place. While I couldn't see this ending any way other than total disaster, I still found myself standing in front of her house having a nervous smoke as Keliah showed up in her SUV. I had to stifle a laugh as her fellow passengers exited the vehicle looking as though their lives had passed before their eyes. For someone with such quick reflexes and athletic ability, the sheriff may be the worst driver on the planet. It's probably all that time spent in Europe using public transportation. She had brought with her some back up this time, which was nice, because I had no intention of waiting for Remi or that mystery woman to show up. The new deputy, Jared, I believe his name is, was with her, as well as another spiky haired youth I was unfamiliar with. He turned out to be a ghoul to Celeste, a phenomenon I haven't had an up close experience with. It seems that vampires can share their blood with a chosen human and it bonds them to them, somehow. From what I've read, the blood also gives them extra powers of some sort although I doubt anything near what the leech itself possesses. I made a note to learn more about this in the future due to the large vampire population in Ravenhurst. There must be tons of ghouls walking the streets, completely blending in to society. It's almost as disturbing a thought as the fog infected vampires; beings with limited will of their own being controlled by a dark power.

We hustled Celeste upstairs, and once I moved everyone back downstairs, I set up the prison ward by myself this time. It wasn't perfect, nor was it nearly as strong as the others we had constructed for Keliah and Remi, but we do what we must with limited options. Once tested, I found that it was strong enough to hold her, then removed the stake from her chest per Kel's instructions. I'm not sure whether to be proud or horrified that I seem to be becoming quite the expert at removing large chunks of wood from people's chests. I suppose it's good practice if, or more likely when, I'll need to jam one back inside a leech. She leaped up snapping her teeth at me, much as Remi had done, minus the syringe projectiles. Once the deed was done, we quickly fed her with a blood packet the the sheriff provided, I again herded everyone back downstairs. She was beginning to talk, trying to work her connection with her ghoul in order to help her. Supposedly, this ward shuts off those mental links between vampires, and while I'm as interested in testing out limitations on our spells, now hardly seemed the time.

In the meantime, the sheriff had sent Jared up to the Ellwyn's home to check on and act as bodyguard for Lexie while I was otherwise engaged. I'm sure Lexie doesn't feel particularly safe being guarded by a broken down drunk; I hardly provide much more than speedbump to danger. However, something was nagging in the back of my head as I stepped out onto the patio to exchange a few words with Keliah as she nervously paced back and forth. It was this new deputy, Jared. The first time, we had pointedly avoided exposing him to any of the madness occuring with the sheriff, but this time she had brought him in, making none of the problems currently plaguing the city a secret. This meant only one thing; Jared was behind the veil. I suspected he was probably one of hers, but he could very well have been a shifter or even a fae. Either way, the sheriff had knowingly sent up a supernatural to guard Lexie, one that could be susceptible to the influence of the fog. I didn't really want to question the sheriff's judgment in these matters, especially after the previous night, but I didn't feel it right to leave this man alone with Lexie and made my excuses to head back. My fears were unfounded for once; Jared was posted outside when I walked up and he headed back on patrol once I arrived. I'm probably being paranoid, but neither Lexie or myself have much hope in surviving another encounter with out of control supernaturals; I'm not sure Keliah completely understands this. When you're super strong and heal from grevious wounds in mere minutes, it's probably easy to forget that the rest of us are just mere mortals.

It's just as well I didn't stay at Keliah's apartment; walking past it this morning to pick up some supplies from the general store, it looked as though a tiny tornado had passed through it. There was shattered glass everywhere as the windows seemed to be completely missing, splinters of wood scattered across the walkway, and what appeared to be bullet holes riddling the facade. I didn't even bother checking on the ward; I glumly knew what I would find if I had. After listening to the local gossip in town, it sounded as though there was a serious shootout. Since no bodies were recovered, I can only assume that the sheriff and her team walked out alive. If she shows up tonight, I'll be sure to find out all that I can about what hit them this time. All I know at this point is this limited action of containment of the fog infection just isn't working. We're going to need to hit it where it lives. It's a simple enough solution with one huge problem to solve; how can we hope to send off the fog when the coven appears to be scattered to the wind and with Lexie still recovering from all her wounds?

After meeting with my former sponsor Bernard a few weeks back and seeing the disappointment in his eyes, I thought it best I resume my journal to try and stay on the right path. Looking back at my previous entries, I see a tortured soul racked by guilt and self doubt. Guilt from past sins and the failures of his own hubris. It's almost painful, certainly embarrassing to look back at my writing through my eyes now. I'd like to think I turned a corner after our last encounter with the fog, but I do feel as though a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Why is that? My daughter remains missing, I was unable to save her two friends from a horrible and meaningless death, and I continue to drink when I know that's only lead to disaster. Perhaps it is because I feel as though I've found meaning in my life once again. While I've always been a teacher, existing in the priviledged white towers of a university only gave the illusion of purpose and accomplishment. I'd like to think I was a helpful influence to at least some of the students that passed through my lecture halls, but I had long lost the passion and desire to truly teach. After I lost my wife, I was merely running through the motions and sitting on my laurels, so to speak. When I first started, I could run off names of former pupils and what they had continued on to well after their college days. Now? I can't even remember any of the faces from the past several years.

Everything is different now. In Ravenhurst, not only am I making a difference and doing my best to hold back the darkness that seeks to consume us all, I've found a purpose. Being elevated to an elder mage within the circle may be premature as I am still rather inexperienced in comparison to even the Ellwyn sisters decades younger than myself, my years in teaching has been particularly useful with the influx of magic potentials drawn to the island. While they seem to come and go even quicker than my students back at the university, I know that I've helped some of them adjust to what they truly are. I find it invigorating that I continue to grow as a magic user and become more confident in my abilities. Every day is learning something new; something I had neglected while supposedly educating the future generation. I've remembered that to learn and grow as a person, despite advanced years, I must accept that I know almost nothing in the grand scheme of things.

It's nice to sit back and pontificate on mental state, but I also need to remind myself that Ravenhurst remains a very dangerous place. All those fictional monsters from novels and the silver screen remain part of the social fabric in this small coastal town. I find myself sitting her at my desk staring at my cough medicine partly because it. After returning to my previous home to begin to sever ties with certain things and inform my family of my permanent relocation to the west coast, much to their consternation I might add, I found myself a bit out of practice and sluggish to the effects of being practically on top of the source. A young mage with a prediliction for trouble named William Puck has entered the fold and continues to cause troubles for the circle. He seems drawn to danger like a moth to a flame and has repeatedly been burned by it. While I would normally chalk this up to youthful stupidity and expect to stay out of it, the vampires he's agitated seem intent on dragging the rest of us into the drama. Vampires are generally dangerous enough, but this young vampire that seems to truly have it out for all of us is none other than Dr. Quinn Hodges, the protege of the even more insane and deadly Dr. Remi LaBorde. Our last several encounters with Remi were enough for one lifetime; it took Lexie weeks to recover. I was privy to a conversation between the sheriff and Dr. Hodges in which he effectively declared war on the witches due to our involvement with the young mage, William.

After discussing it with Lexie, we decided it best that we prepare the mages as best we could for the dangers of rogue vampires. There's not a lot that we can do to them alone, but as I always stress to the newcomers, there is enormous power in numbers. I'm afraid I pushed myself a little farther than I should have upon return to extend protections to the mages as well as create a new charm. Techincally, it's two charms that work off each other; it was a rather clever design, I have to say. Our rogue circle leader Tabitha Blackthorne was the genesis of the idea. I combined my protection charm, the one that warns of impending danger, with the personal protection ward. A new mage who calls herself Nyx was helpful in the eventual creation of this magical charm. I was extremely suspicious when she showed up a few weeks ago, yet she's been extremely knowledgeable and helpful to the circle. I don't know her plans, but I mean to take advantage of that knowledge as much as I can in the following weeks. With Lexie's older sister and the only other trained Warder off in Seattle sowing her wild oats, I'll take whatever help I can get.

It's nights like these that make me question the wisdom of remaining in this town, regardless of power and purpose nonsense I was writing about just a few days ago. I had been recovering from that horrible summer cold in the surprising peace and quiet of my new home when I received an ominous text from Lexie asking me to hurry down to the shop. I expected the worst and damn near received it as I arrived short before Ace. Why Ace was there, I'm not sure; she may have been looking for the sheriff. I would have asked if not for all the violence and imminent danger everywhere. When I finally stepped through the door, I was greeted with the sight of two franatic vampires, Keliah and Dr. Hodges, tearing into each other while trapped within a blood entrapment ward. I was surprised to see the ward we were forced to use during the incident with the fog; apparently Lexie had been practicing her warding. Lexie and her new friend Nyx had hastily thrown together the ward without all the necessary preparations and it was being held together with the magical equivalent of duct tape and hope. So, in an act of stupidity and to fulfill the tenets of Murphy's Law, Ace launched herself at the ward and almost destroyed it. After I was able to convince Ace to back away from the ward, I was able to begin strenghtening it. It wasn't too difficult once Tabbie showed up to help; it would have been easier had William not been tossed through the back window and been fighting with a stranger I've never seen before. This tall stranger was apparently a friend of Dr. Hodges and was attempting to rescue him from the sheriff.

Once the ward was fortified, I decided to put an end to all this nonsense and asked Tabbie to extract the sheriff out while I completely immobilized Quinn by contracting the field. Keliah was wild with the type of animal rage I have only heard about that exists in the non beating heart of all her kind; it was a bit disconcerting, especially when she rearranged Tabbie's face with her fist. It's lucky she was in the ward as she was striking out; her full vampire fury probably would have taken Tabbie's head off. Once the sheriff had regained her senses (and I use that term rather loosely) and Quinn was properly restrained, we were able to take stock of what had just happened. Apparently, Dr. Hodges had thought it would be a good idea to follow through with his threat over the phone and lean on Lexie. It's lucky he's so incredibly stupid that he decided to take the fight into a place of power for our kind, else things might have gone very badly for Lexie. Considering the stories I've heard about the two mad Malkavian doctors, I'd rather not think about it. Quinn began rambling about being a victim in this whole situation, calling the sheriff a traitor, and most likely vowing revenge or some such nonsense. Frankly, I had tuned him out after a few minutes. He had been a disturbed individual before he was embraced by the vampires and things had only gotten worse. He was ignoring all the warnings his kind had issued him and seemed to be actively trying to tear the veil open. We should have ended him there that night; we will probably regret the decision we made soon enough.

I handed my stake to Tabbie, the one I keep in my sock for just these incidents (the fact that these incidents are often enough for me to be prepared for them should be enough to hop on the ferry to Seattle and never look back), and gave her the unpleasant task of quieting Quinn's rants with torpor, I believe it's called. She was partly the reason all this had gone on in the first place, so it was fitting. Besides, I got the feeling that she thoroughly enjoyed sticking a wooden stake in Dr. Hodges' chest. As we had William and that other stranger calmed down at this point, we took the opportunity to weave a blood spell that will hopefully keep Quinn and Puck away from each other for the time being. Then we turned Quinn over to the sheriff to take before the vampire leader of town for judgment.

I've been very unimpressed with vampire discipline in my time here in Ravenhurst. The previous leader or prince, Angelika I believe her name was, had caused all types of strife and infighting during her reign. So far, the new prince Michael seems to be not much better. While not actively creating problems, he seems to rule with a disinterested neglect which is allowing all types of violations of their supposed code. Not only is this situation particularly dangerous for the circle, it's setting up what could be serious breaches of the veil. We can only hope at this point that the vampires will get their act together. I fear if they do not, incidents like this will continue to occur. The huge elephant in the room is the loyalty of the sheriff. Her and I have become very close, but where will she stand should the vampires and the witches go to war? To assist us would be suicide and betrayal to her own kind, yet that's not nearly as much of a horrible thought as the alternative. We will have to be on our guard for the time being. I hope this Michael fellow will do what's necessary to preserve the veil.

For once, I have a character building entry into my personal inventory journal. Well, perhaps not in the character building of my youth when I was sent off to camp to learn how to make leather wallets; I believe that particular class was Chinese slave labor in training. I could be wrong; it has been many years. However, it appears my elevation inside the circle of witches has resulted in a whole new slew of problems for me. People through around the word gift often enough so I suppose that would suffice to describe the ability to communicate with and control fire itself. However, waking up just in time from smoke inhalation because you accidentally set your desk on fire in mid dream isn't exactly what I'd refer to as a positive development. That old quote from Voltaire which states, "with great power comes great responsibility," probably didn't have immolating yourself due to indigestion and leaving a cigarette burning in your ashtray. Considering Voltaire's anti-royalist and anti-church writings helped usher in the reign of terror during the French Revolution and ultimately Napoleon's climb to power and millions dead across Europe and Central Asia, it's probably best that most of my students think that quote comes from Spiderman's Uncle Ben. Once again, I'd much rather to be able to do whatever a spider can than live in fear every night I fall asleep; a fear of myself doing something stupid.

This ability has been manifesting itself inside me for a while now; I had assumed it was just lack of sleep and carelessness with putting out my cigarettes. The first time I was quite sure something strange had happened was last month while watching over Lexie after her run in with Dr. LaBorde. I was watching television while sneaking in a cigarette to help stay awake. Unfortunately, that tactic didn't particularly work and when I awoke to the smell of burning fibers, I was quick enough to take the burning blanket out the door and stomp it out. You may wonder why I didn't question how a cigarette sitting in an ashtray managed to set a blanket across the room ablaze; I just rationalized I must have taken the cigarette over there and left a bit of ash on it. I didn't bring it up to the Ellwyns; I wasn't sure if that blanket had been a priceless heirloom. Besides, I wasn't supposed to be smoking in the house, the hemp scents wafting from Lexie's window notwithstanding. I had a few more minor incidents involving my cigarettes in the following weeks, but when I headed back to Pennsylvania for a week, they all seemed to stop.

On my return, I had almost completely forgotten about my little problem until after our night in the circle. As I related earlier, the blow up with the Malkavian vampires resulted in a long night of magical warding to try and protect the more inexperienced mages. I certainly exterted myself too much that night and it resulted in quite a vicious head cold; one that I was reluctant to seek the aid of Lexie to heal. Healing an illness caused by the use of magic with magic seemed like a recipe for disaster, so I decided to trust to the twin gods Nyquil and Robitussin. While there are explicit warnings on both labels about operating a vehicle or power tools, there was nothing about not handling when you suddenly manifest the ability to cause small forest fires with the burning amber of a cigarette. Luckily, I wasn't so far gone that I was able to keep my room from turning into an inferno. However, I knew that I had to seek out some help before someone got hurt.

From what I had learned with the other circle members, I knew this had to be an element that had attached itself to me. The main solution should be to seek out one of the other unlucky souls to find out how they dealt with it. As Blaise is God knows where and has been for the past several weeks, Caleb has become a hermit since his last books was published, and Tabbie is, well, Tabbie, that really only left me with the most inexperienced elementalist in the group, Lexie Ellwyn. While she was somewhat excited (more excited than I was) that I had discovered this latent ability, she wasn't of much help in explaining how to contain it. We ventured up to the circle and I began to learn how to communicate, if you will, with the flame. As I mentioned, Lexie did little more than say, 'you can do it!' or other such useless inspirational platitudes, however she was handy with the fire extinguisher. For that, she was invaluable not just for myself, but probably the rest of the greenery on the mountain. It took some time, but I finally figured out how to connect with the element; it's much like connecting with the source, yet at the same time, completely different. The source almost seeks you out, wanting you to make use of it. The fire is far more fickle with it's own agenda, much like a cat or, perhaps more fittingly, a woman. I suppose nature is like that; mankind has been trying to control it for thousands of years and still can't tell us with certainty whether it's going to rain today. Then again, being this is Ravenhurst, the answer to that question is a resounding yes. Another particular problem with an element is the amount of energy it takes to control. Whereas using the source actually infuses you with energy, every inch of your body feeling more alive than the highest high, getting an element to respond to you is as tiring corralling a half dozen toddlers for a day. I can understand now why this skill has been used most sparingly with those that possess it.

After several days and nights, I believe I have figured out best how not to hurt myself with it. I will still make it a habit to not sleep near any open flames in the future, but I believe I'm getting a handle on the basics. Considering the sheer amount of potential danger in this small town, I've decided to make myself as proficient in it's use as possible. Before long, I hope to be able to consider it just another weapon in my growing arsenal for self defense, albeit the nuclear option. I understand vampires are very flammable.

I always knew a family with the sort of strange history that ours does would have certain skeletons in the closet, but I clearly underestimated the sheer scope of where we come from. I received the research packet that Xomar has thrown together regarding my babooshka and her past history growing up in a small village within Siberia. The documented evidence he's amassed is rather convincing; from a stash of letters between the Countess and her mother in the village, the newspaper rumors and jabs about the commoner married to Count Khilkov, the revisionism of Grigori's sister drowning in a river to completely sever the connection between the two many years after the fact. He even managed to dig up old bank records of sending funds to Rasputin and the rest of the family from Khilkov's accounts; it seems that she was a good sister and daughter despite her best efforts to completely eliminate her humble beginnings. Yet, were they really humble?

If what I've learned about how source users is correct, our family's blood has been touched with the ability to manipulate the source for much longer than a young Russian girl in the middle of nowhere over a century ago. The fact that she continued to run and change her identity begs the question; who or what was she running from and how long has our family been, for a lack of a better, word, fugitives? Siberia is about as far away from civilization as you can possibly get; there was a good reason Stalin sent his political enemies into camps up there. I'm beginning to think that this mystery will stretch much further back in time, yet have no idea where to start looking. Then again; do I really want to know the answer? Was Susan taken away because of forces that have been at work for generations? I bet my mysterious friend from that strange cult would be able to answer some of the questions, but I'm not sure I'd like to find out what it will cost me. Then again, if it could locate Susan and bring her back to safety...is there a price I'm not willing to pay?

As much as I'd like to dwell on these disturbing discoveries about my family, I do still reside in Ravenhurst. There is never a shortage of strange events or problems to deal with, generally stretching my rather pedestrian knowledge of magic to the brink. It seems that an acquaintance of mine, Ace, has gotten herself in over her head. She's a shifter; she had been the mate to the pack leader, or lupa, but that seems to have fallen apart and she is now without a pack. While that doesn't sound particularly horrifying, the wolves have their own rules and laws that they follow rather strictly. From what I understand, either she must exile herself from the island, or stay and face severe punishment, potentially death. She had attempted to make a deal with the vampires through her friendship with Keliah and manufacture some sort of blood bond. I'd say that sounds rather impossible, but if Ravenhurst has taught me anything, nothing is impossible under the right circumstances. This attempt fell through as it seems it would have altered Ace's whole being, and not in a good way, so she turned to our ex-circle leader Tabbie. I was somewhat surprised that Tabbie agreed to take in the errant wolf and place her under the protection of the circle. Mostly because we have a hell of enough problem keeping ourselves protected from all the villains that walk the streets; I'm not entirely sure how we're supposed to protect a wolf with a quasi bounty on her head from an entire pack of super strong predators.

In fact, this protection extended by us resulted in having to yet again camp out in the woods earlier this week. It was a delicate situation; Ace had managed to get herself shot by one of the new deputies by trying to keep her from stumbling on her old pack. In turn, her old pack scooped her up and were holding her prisoner to await the judgment of he former mate and pack leader, Kione. Since it was just Lexie, Puck, and myself, we felt discretion was the better part of valor and agreed to await their decision, watching over the cave to make sure they didn't spirit her away in the dead of night. Fortunately, they let her leave without a fight; she was a little worse for wear and ravenously hungry (I've never seen a tiny girl eat three almost raw steaks as an appetizer, even on any of the food network's reality shows), but in one piece. It seems, for the time being, the wolves have accepted her staying under the circle's protection; we shall see how long that lasts.

This whole situation with Ace managed to create a whole new problem which resulted in a little argument between myself and the Kel. According to shifter legend, the wolves can walk into the Umbra, or what seems to be the spirit world. Worlds, perhaps; it's not entirely clear. This other plane of existence is supposed to be home to all types of spirits, supernaturals, and even creatures beyond the imagination of Hollywood horror movies. Supposedly, a wolf can bond with a vampire clan by passing through this Umbra in a specific manner that severs their connection with nature and turns them into something else entirely. Luckily, Ace decided against this drastic step, but it got that little hamster in Kel's head spinning once again.

I had recently begun to suspect that the reason we haven't been able to find my daughter is because she was no longer in this world. I'm still getting used to the idea of what is possible behind the veil and it makes my reasoning a little slow sometimes. It's hard to completely alter your entire world view and begin to accept that the rules of the world you live in are completely wrong. There were two incidents that finally tipped me off to the possibility; Tabbie's imprisonment in another plane of existence during the first fog debacle and Caleb's body snatching spirt, when he too was trapped in some spirit world while his ghostly friend was driving his body around town. If it was possible for mages such as those two to cross over into these other realms, why wouldn't it make sense for my daughter, a budding witch herself, to have done the same thing? Or been forced into doing it?

After having a discussion with her sire and the prince of Ravenhurst, Keliah was having much the same thoughts. She proposed the idea that she could walk into the Umbra and continue her investigation for Susan. I must admit; I wasn't happy to hear her plans. I thought them short sighted and suicidal considering all that we didn't know about making such a dangerous journey. She cannot be persuaded otherwise, though; she is a rather stubborn girl at times. She did agree to keep me apprised of all that she learns and to let me assist in her preparations. Considering I only recently even heard of the damn place, I'm not going to be much help without doing some serious research on what generally is thought to be a fictional land. Sometimes, I do wish I had never left my lecture hall.

What is the afterlife and how do you find it? I suppose I should have spent more time paying attention in church, although it usually distilled into be nice to your neighbors and make sure to be generous with the donation plate. This Umbra, as it's referred to by the good sheriff of Ravenhurst, seems to be all my religious nightmares all rolled into one. Tests of character? Check. Lost souls still searching for redemption and meaning? Check. Monstrous creatures intent on most likely devouring souls? For Susan's sake, I hope that part is exaggerated. Then again, Keliah's theory about what happened with my daughter may be completely wrong. It follows that same fallacy that Sherlock Holmes used in his rationalization, 'When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth.' I think the events in Ravenhurst over the past several months have seriously raised the bar on what is possible and what is not.

While Kel has not brought up her plan to enter the Umbra as of late, knowing her as I do, I'm quite sure she's as determined as ever. At this point, I think the challenge of having done it is drawing her to it as much as her desire to find a solution to this open, cold case. In a way, I can completely understand it. This is the great unknown; maybe not quite going where no man has gone before, but certainly a path very seldom travelled by the living...or whatever Keliah qualifies as at this point. On the other hand, I'm hoping that she's finding it impossible to access this supposed stairway to heaven. Come to think of it, that must be why that song was stuck in her head the other day; that and her ecclectic taste in American pop music.

Since I doubt I will be much help researching what is basically the unknown, I have thrown myself into my practical studies of manipulating the source. With new potentials wander into town constantly and my elevation to a circle elder, it's almost a requirement for me to broaden my general knowledge of magic. I'm hoping several of the spells that I've been practicing may come in handy if and when Keliah does step into the Umbra.

Through complete happenstance, I've become much more embroiled in the divinatory powers than I've ever wanted to. The idea of seeing the future has always made me especially uneasy. Calvinism never appealed to me on any level; I like the idea of mankind, however insignificant in the grand scheme of things, having the ability to make their own choices and not be trapped on some invisible rail of fate. However, their seeing abilities have been extremely helpful already. I was able to track down the sheriff's lost dog tags weeks ago, and since have been able to track a potential problem that's recently entered town. Much like Big Brother, I can see the addictive nature of being aware of all that's going around you. Of course, much like intelligence agencies of today, it's really a case of narrowing down the information into something useful and ignoring all the white noise.

This problem I refer to is a new deputy named Anya Wellesley. She's come into town like gangbusters, seemingly on a personal mission to stamp out a fictional drug problem within our town. At first I assumed her quoxotic quest was perhaps the reason she was deposited into a tiny, backwards town like this. However, after turning our powers towards watching her, I've found that she is most definitely not what she seems. The sheriff seems to think she may be a hunter; I fear it may be more complicated than that. Either way, a hunter in our midst is dangerous for everyone, especially the circle. The witch trials of Wurzburg I've been reading about recently make that all too clear. I know that she isn't working alone, but who is she working for? Should the supernaturals in town eliminate her, would that create more troubles than having her poking her nose into things she shouldn't? I've never encountered a hunter before, so I am unfamiliar with how they or their organizations work. It's yet another item on my list of things I should know, but don't.

I used to take delight in staying inside with a good book, twenty year aged single malt scotch, several illegal cuban cigars, and my lovely wife to celebrate Labor day each year. It hardly deserves more, being basically a communist holiday in origin, but it was a nice time to just enjoy how blessed I was before class would begin. I should say I now fondly look back at how blessed I was then; you rarely appreciate those times in your life until they're past.

Considering I've been mostly retired since arriving in Ravenhurst, I probably shouldn't be complaining about having a busy weekend, but it has been far more physically and emotionally taxing than I've been used to as of late. I find it unfavor of me to gripe, considering the kind of weekend Lexie Ellwyn has suffered alongside me. While I was in the city this past Friday, I received a call from none other than Blaise, Lexie's sister. She had been spending most of her time in Seattle as of late and I assumed that perhaps she was going to ask me to relay a message to her sister. That was part of the bombshell she dropped on my casual afternoon, but hardly the most important.

She explained that she would be heading back east to care for her aunt who was ill, then when she was able to speak freely courtesy of a silence ward, she continued with the bad news. It appeared that her aunt wasn't just ill, but in danger. She feared for herself, but even more so for Lexie. She would not allow her sister to accompany her into what seemed to be a serious situation, but she didn't want to leave her alone either. This is why she proposed that I purchase a portion of their fledgling Esoteric shop and help cover Lexie's expenses at the cottage they were renting while she handled business back east. There is strength in numbers for our kind and she felt that if I was close, closer than I am now, that we would have a better chance of defending against whatever it is she was deathly afraid of. The idea of living with a 20 something free spirit is probably about as distasteful to Lexie as myself, but under the guise of monetary necessity, it should convince her that I would be needed to both assist in the business and her household finances.

I must admit, she was better prepared than I thought; she handed over a copy of the financials and the P&L wasn't nearly as bad as I assumed it would be selling crystals and tea. The internet sales of their business was far more successful than the actual shop; something my accountant will probably mention when I send this information his way. Well, that and several creative liberties in expenses that were taken in the books. Wiring over a fair chunk of money to her account was easy enough; we were able to handle the transaction before the end of the business day. I'm sure she planned it that way; she was always prepared.

We parted ways under the agreement that she would fill me in on the details of what was happening as soon as she could and I would do all that I was able to help keep her sister out of harms way. I owed her at least that much. I probably would have been dead 10 times over without the Ellwyn's help since I've been in Ravenhurst and, whether I like to admit it or not, Lexie has almost become like family to me. I certainly spend more time with her than any of my actual family.

Whatever was exchanged between the two sisters before I returned to Ravenhurst on Saturday seemed to leave Lexie resigned to the arrangement. She had already gotten permission from the landlord to make adjustments to the cottage and also looked up several local contractors to partition off a section for me. Considering I once ended up in the emergency room trying to put together own of my daughter's Christmas toys, it will come as no surpise that I'm not particularly handy with tools. Best to leave it up to the professionals.

We spent most of the weekend rearranging the shop; now that her sister was officially out of the way, Lexie decided there were several things that would make the place function better. While it was backbreaking work in outrageous heat, especially by Ravenhurst standards, I must admit that the shop looks much better now. It feels more open now, which will be nice in case a pair of rampaging vampires decide to stage a Wrestlemania match in the middle of the shop once again. A large rug from storage helps conceal a prison ward etched into the floor. EVen more helpful was the fact that it was already red; all the better to absorb drops of blood that must be spilled to activate it. Should any supernatural be foolish enough to attempt to threaten any of our kind in the shop, we will be much better prepared than last time.

I have, of course, been avoiding putting into words the serious tragedy of the weekend. Ace, the young masseuse/shifter that has been instrumental in helping the circle on several occasions has been murdered. We still have no idea what happened other than her bloodied and mutilated body washed up the other night. What's particularly frightening was that I was speaking with her just that night; she had invited me over to have dinner with her so she could ask the best way to adjust to working with our kind. She seemed as vivacious and cheerful as always, despite all the things she had been through recently. It seems that most everyone I've dealt with lately has ended up dead or nearly so; like death is constantly looking over my shoulder for a fresh victim.

Lexie took it pretty hard; they were becoming rather close friends. With the news about her aunt, her sister seemingly abandoning and excluding her from whatever she was doing, being forced to live with an 'old man' as she refers to me, and now this? It's a lot to take in all at once for one so young. I'm hardly the best person to cheer up someone due to my somewhat curmudgeonly nature, but I suppose I'll give it the old college try. The old college try being half assed and waiting until the night before it's due was my recollection of how my students handled it. I think if she throws herself into the work at hand as well as handling the circle and new mages as deftly as she's been able to do, she'll be back to her old self soon enough.

After speaking with Tabbie, we're resolved to find out who killed Ace and see what can be done about it. Tabbie has the ability to see through the eyes of those that are deceased or not of this world anymore; it was one of my first experiences with her. I'm sure something this recent and close to all of us should be easy enough. Finding out the identity of the killer shouldn't be nearly as hard as deciding what to do about it. What if it's part of the wolf pack form of justice? They seem savage enough; but why would they destroy a young girl like that? What could she possibly have done that was so horrible? The tall shifter with the vague Eastern European accent we bumped into up in the woods when Ace was first being held for transgressions against the pack seems a likely suspect. Even more so, her ex-mate and pack leader Kione probably had even more of a motive to do the deed. I suppose we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. I'm learning that justice behind the veil can be far more harsh than I would have ever imagined.

My wife Lilly used to teasingly tell me I'd lose my head if it wasn't attached to my neck due to my forgetful nature regarding my books, papers, eyeglasses, ties, shoes, etc. Name it and I probably lost it at one time or another. However, I had managed to keep my head all this time despite my best efforts until yesterday afternoon. Personally, I blame this blasted fire elemental that's attached itself to me like an unwanted house guest. There should be a manual of some sort that explains how all this magic works; unfortunately, my ebay search efforts have been fruitless thus far.

Perhaps I should start at the beginning. As I wrote earlier, I've moved into the Ellwyn residence to keep an eye on Lexie for her sister's sake. My first test came much quicker than I expected and from a party that I'm very dissapointed in. The night before, I was rearranging a few things in the crystal shop to create the proper ambience and trying to limit Lexie's inherent kitchy decorative nature when she came bursting through the front door in a panic. She showed me the texts that she had received from the sheriff; that she was off to bust up the Thirsty Raven and I can only assume jokingly asked if she would be able to bail her out of jail should it come to that. From what the late Ace had intimated to me, I knew there was a heavy shifter presence at the bar; I could only assume that Keliah had snapped and was lashing out at the people she probably felt were responsible for Ace's death.

Lexie at first attempted to drag me out to the bar, then when I refused, decided to head down by herself. I put a stop to that and barred her from leaving the place. She wasn't being particularly reasonable so logic wasn't going to help much; i just told her I wasn't going to tell Blaise that her sister got herself killed in a barfight with supernaturals while I stood around and did nothing. My anger at the situation and specifically at the sheriff helped set my resolve and I believe I may have somewhat cowed Lexie by my firm stance. While the idea of a tiny French woman busting up a bar with a crowbar or whatever it is she was using is extremely comical, I couldn't imagine a bigger potential for exposing herself and those within. That kind of breach in the veil would carry catastrophic consequences. Even more upsetting was the fact that she had sent this message to Lexie, knowing full well that Lexie's nature of helping and healing would draw her to the bar like a moth to the flame. At once, the sheriff through all caution to the wind, actively set in motion the potential to set off a war that would harm all those around her, and more immediately almost cause Lexie to get seriously injured or worse. The man who stated that age brings wisdom obviously never met Keliah Angelis.

I finally relented a few hours after the gunshots subsided, and we skirted the area to take stock of the damage that had occurred. It was as bad as I had feared if not worse. They're insurance provider was not going to be happy at all; nor was the owner once they saw the spike in the premiums, no doubt. Seriously; how does one destroy a solid brick wall in the middle of a barfight with a bulldozer or a truck? I made sure we didn't linger and we headed back to the relative safety of the cottage, Lexie more depressed than ever.

I was hoping to improve her spirits the next day by taking a day trip out to the circle so we could work on our elemental control. Well, it was more so I could work on my elemental control; Lexie had already become quite adept at bending the winds to her will. However, she was distracted from the moment we arrived. After a bit, she revealed yet another problem that I was unaware of; she had somehow been infused with another element and she couldn't control either at the moment. I told her that she obviously just needed to get her head right and with the proper concentration she should be able to work it out as she had before. It's amazing the amount of B.S. I can deliver at the drop of a hat; must be all those years standing at a lecturn answering smart ass questions. I decided to distract her with a few things I had learned while working with my element and after a while, she began acting like her old self.

It's always when things are going well that the other shoe drops. I was showing off my ability to control the flame and send it into the sky, higher than I ever have before. One thing I've learend about the element of fire is that while it may not have a sentient nature, it somehow possesses a sort of personality and set of desires on it's own. It must always push itself to consume. Consume everything in it's path, really. It's appetite is insatiable. Whenever I connect with it, I think a part of me is affected on a deeper level than I've ever wanted to admit. In this particular case, I was driven to push further and further until I had traveled well past my limits.

An even more important thing I learned while using my element was I was obviously doing it all wrong. Neither Lexie nor Blaise have ever mentioned connecting with their elements and seeing, as it were, through the elements senses. It's probably due to my dabbling into magical disciplines I'm not familiar with, such as tracking that new deputy through a divinatory spell I had discovered. I must have primed my mind to lose itself in the element itself. However, I was always close enough that I was easily able to return back from the element without noticing any bizarre side effects. This time, by pushing myself further and further away within the element, I literally managed to lose my head, as well as the rest of my body.

The flame had died once I traveled high enough into the vast expanse of the sky, yet my consciousness remained. How long did I drift around aimlessly up there? It felt like ages, but once I managed to will myself to drop back down to earth, it couldn't have been more than a few hours. Moving about as a dicombobulated spirit had some challenges of it's own; losing all physical senses is far more shocking than I would have imagined. How do you walk or move without the feeling of the ground beneath your feet, the tensing of sinew and muscle in your legs? How do you fall from the sky when you have nothing to weigh you down? I can't really explain it and I hesitate to recommend trying it out on your own. Either way, I did find my way back and was met with the sight of my own form lying motionless on the ground, as well as an upset Lexie and, curiously enough, two long absent mages, Caleb and Mizuki.

Considering the talents and abilities that Caleb possesses with the spirit world, I probably would have kissed him had I had a mouth. In fact, the moment I set down, he was able to see me in whatever form I was in and had a very good idea of how to push me back into my body. He settled into a trance and with the help of the mages around him, was able to quickly step out of his body and begin the process of putting me back together again. With a not so gentle push, he managed to send me back on my way within my own body. As I descended into the darkness of my own form, I discovered a missing detail that I had been too panicked to notice. While I had managed to detach my consciousness from my body, it turns out I had never really lost it. There was always a small silver thread connecting me back home. In the research I've since begun on this harrowing event, this silver cord is said to connect the body and soul, until death, I would assume. Regaining my body was as simple as following the thread back home.

When I regained consciousness inside my own body, despite the pain raging through almost every part of my body, even parts I was unaware I had, I never felt more alive in my life. As I've found repeatedly in my time in Ravenhurst, you never appreciate something until you've lost it. For once in Ravenhurst, though, I was able to get back something I've lost. I've found my head again. Let us pray that I can keep it.

It seems keeping one's head in Ravenhurst is a full time occupation. An unexpected and unfortunate encounter with the pack leader Kione and company helped reinforce the point of being vigilant in the wake of all the supernaturals in town. His swift and brutal attack upon Lexie when we went to plead for the return of Tabbie was was quick and unexpected that had I not taken magical precautions for both of us, I probably wouldn't be in a position to write this journal entry. It's my own fault; believing that the shifters were anything other than savage beasts moments away from turning on anything even slightly perceived as a threat. It's why wild animals make poor pets or neighbors. One moment they may be amiable and even friendly; the next moment they're tearing your face off. That we've assisted each other on multiple occasions gave me the false impression that we might have built up some goodwill with the wolves; We will not be making that mistake again.

Truthfully, the whole incident is and will remain Tabbie's fault. Why she would enter the wolf's den to apparently play a prank with no preparation, plan, or truth be told, any point, can only be chalked up to pure stupidity. She obviously lives a charmed life; the amount of trouble she brings upon herself and others around her makes a person wonder how she's still alive. To compound the rift between our kind and the shifters is that we were forced to call in assistance from their mortal enemies; we had to call in the sheriff and her bretheren in order to walk, or in my case, be carried out in one piece.

Speaking of the sheriff, she has made herself rather scarce this past weekend. At first I suspected she didn't want to discuss her rash and blatantly foolish actions at the Thirsty Raven, but now I begin to suspect it may be something else. I have a feeling she did her research into the Umbra and found it wanting, to a certain degree. No matter; I have found alternative options to follow this line of investigation. Truth be told, I've made myself rather scarce over the past several days as well.

After the harrowing experience of losing my body for several hours, I've come to understand the opportunity that has presented itself in this new skill. While I'm quite sure my younger self would have been overjoyed to walk about the women's locker room undetected, expanding and perfecting this ability will be able to provide answers to at least some of the questions regardings Susan. Over the past several days, I've become much more adept at traveling as well as learning to spot doorways that I never would have noticed with my own eyes. The spirit world is far more busy and complex than I would have ever thought; certain areas are as crowded as Times Square with the spirits of past souls and...well, other things I cannot define as of yet. I fear that my lack of ability in my spiritual side has limited me with my communication; I'm often left alone and actively avoided by those entities when I pass by. I'm sure Caleb would be able to explain these matters much better, if he was ever around. Regardless of his help or that of my mysterious contacts, I will learn all I need to. This is the sole reason I came to Ravenhurst and I will persue this new avenue of exploration without abandon.

The deputy Wellesley has been asking to meet with me once again and still no word from my friend Xomar. Knowing his predeliction for spirits, I suspect he's having the time of his life that he'll never remember in Bavaria. She appears to be just human, but at this point in my dealings with all I've met in Ravenhurst, I've learned to never underestimate anybody. I cannot afford to at this point; not when I'm getting closer to answers regarding Susan's disappearance and potentially our family's much more detailed and sordid history.

It's often times hard to tell who your friend and who your enemy is in Ravenhurst. No, scratch that; it's often hard to tell who wants something from you and who wants to tear your head off. That's a far more accurate assessment of my time in this small, unassuming town. I'm not even sure that I can trust Tabbie Blackthorne, the most experienced witch and the first person I befriended when I arrived. While she was never known for making wise decisions at any level, she seemed to possess a certain moral structure that I felt I could work with. Now, not only is she actively attempting to start a war with what seems as every supernatural group in town, she's apparently started using magic in a way that I never would have expected from her.

These past several weeks have been rather busy; I am not sure I am cut out for retail work. There is far too much niceness and obsequiousness required that I'm just not cut out for at this stage in my life. While I have no problem pontificating on the differences between Japanese, English, or Turkish tea, all this dealing with the public has seriously been cutting into my research time. I suppose it has been somewhat enlightening on certain fronts. Lexie and I were able to work on spells that had been outside our comfort zone, albeit in the name of helping a sociopathic, torturer vampire who's tried to kill us on more than one occasion. I do hope Dr. LeBorde appreciates our efforts on the matter and takes them into consideration before he suffers another personality change and attempts to dissect us in the name of science.

My plan to investigate the spirit plane continues unabated, despite absolutely no help from the sheriff. Make that the ex-sheriff of Ravenhurst, the increasingly frustrating and aggrevating to deal with, Keliah Angelis. She dropped off the map these past weeks dealing with what I can only guess are vampire politics. I would imagine the intrigue and guile of a race that has all eternity to plan would make our usual presidential elections look positively quaint. Still, she's cut off contact with me, for my own safety, she insists. She's also requested that I join her in Seattle, like some sort of mistress or kept man. I will visit her and get the information I can, but I have absolutely no interest in skulking in the shadows and having to make a two week advance reservation to see any woman. It was a mistake involving myself so thoroughly with a leech. I'm mostly disappointed, even discounting our personal relationship, with how she's been acting. Of all the things our community has been through over the past year, I expected more than to be treated like a child. My pride has taken enough beatings over the past five years; I plan on mainting a modicum of dignity when this is all over with.

We have a meeting at the circle tonight, which will hopefully be fruitful. I understand Caleb will be there after an extended absence from our affairs, excepting that misadventure from a few weeks ago. He is the only one I know has been to the other side repeatedly and come out relatively unscathed. I shall do my best to pick his brain for practical advice as well as pitfalls to avoid. Despite all that's happened, I'm quite happy to still be breathing. I'd like to keep it that way.

The only positive thing I can say about yesterday is that it's over with, barring time travel. Frankly, with the things I've seen in Ravenhurst, I wouldn't entirely rule it out. Still, all things considered, I know a little bit more now than I did before. Which, as usual, just unveiled a whole slew of new questions. We held an impromptu meeting with the other circle members, those that still remain. It's a rather pitiful sight at the moment, to be honest. Aside from Lexie and myself, we were only able to muster up a distracted Caleb and a very haggard looking Tabbie. Considering all the trouble Tabbie has been causing around town, it's not a surprise she was almost looking older than I do. I let her have it when she finally stepped into the circle and was somewhat surprised at her repentant nature. She has always been one to not worry about consequences and gloss over her errors and mistakes as though they never happened. While I'm sure it's easier to sleep at night by doing so, it hasn't done well for those around her and forced to deal with the fallout.

She apologized for sending a hex onto the wolves and offered to take care of it herself. We quickly reminded her that they were not going to believe that she was alone, their nature that of a group or pack. We mages are alike in that respect; we need each other to truly reach our own individual potential. It's somewhat surprising that the most experienced witch of us all has failed to take this truth to heart. They decided that I needed to be added to the blood bond between the three; mine only existing between the Ellwyn sisters. I wasn't excited to be bonded to a loose cannon, but at this point, we have no choice but to stand together or die alone. Despite her carelessness nature and suspect decision making, she's still more powerful than any of us. To not use that to our advantage would be foolish at best, suicidal at worst.

We broke off the meeting early enough for me to make the last ferry out of Ravenhurst to meet up with the ex-sheriff, Keliah and finally get some of the answers for the way she had been acting. She was forthcoming for the most part, but what she told me made me question whether she had lost her sanity. She stated that vampires and wolves were on the verge of outright war and that the vampire leader, the one they refer to as the prince regardless of sex, had been absent and had let matters fall into such a poor state of repair that she was forced to act. Since I've known her, I've never seen the devious, power hungry side before. However, this blatant coup she intimated could only be described as a pursuit of personal power and gain. She justified her naked act of aggression to herself by describing all those that would suffer should she not seize the reins of power, as countless others through history have. Sulla, Ceasar, Napoleon, the list is neverending. I'm sure they sound reasonable to themselves, despite all the death and destruction they leave in their wake for their own glory.

When Keliah was the sheriff, I knew she was invested in the welfare of the townsfolk; the humans which are normally just viewed as prey by her people. Now that she's removed from a place of responsibility and empathy? Who knows what will happen. She had told me she ran away from France to avoid these types of court intrigue, yet here she is in the center, leading the charge. The armchair psychologist in me would say perhaps she was running away from her desire for power. However, as I've found throughout life, you can't run forever. I don't know if I can ever trust her again, even if she's able to settle things down, placate the people who want her dead, and avert whatever crisis brought about her actions. She won't be able to maintain the illusion of a small town sheriff anymore; she'll be disconnected from the ebb and flow of the citizens of Ravenhurst. At what point does she cease to care at all? It would seem to me that the greatest threat of immortality is losing your place in the world and thus losing a connection to those around you.

I don't want to care about someone I'm going to lose. I've already lost enough for one lifetime.

I was able to talk my friend with a fishing boat to give me a ride back late last night. It rarely takes more than a couple cases of beer. As soon as I arrived back home, I dragged Lexie away from the television so we could ward the house against all supernaturals. She looked at me funny, I'm sure wondering what had happened between Kel and I, but she didn't press. I explained to her the dangers that we would possibly face with what she had done and we set to work protecting our home. I should probably take down the black coverings over the windows. I won't need them anymore.

I received an unexpected response from my mysterious internet friend regarding my inquiries into Susan's disappearance. This anonymous fellow with far too much insight into my character and a self proclaimed member of a supposed ancient organization has always struck me as a little off, even by Ravenhurst standards. Now with his most recent rant, I can most likely put him into the certifiably crazy category. He seems to think that an ancient prophecy that may or may not have been written by a madwoman predicts that my Susan will mature into a godslayer, which incidentally, sounds like the name of a bad heavy metal band. I've come to terms with there being many, many things I am still in the dark about regarding the world and the planes of existence that exist outside it, but to call this farfetched would be the understatement of the year.

After contemplating on it, I'm of the mind that there are three distinct possibilities for interpreting this message. One, the man is completely off his rocker and is forcing meanings out of a vague prediction, much like finding Jesus in your morning toast. This won't be the first time this has happened in recorded history; prophecies tend to become self fulfilling should you become myopic enough to see nothing but what you want to believe.

Two, he has been intercepting my email and phone exchanges with Mr. Beckett from back east. Considering the story Beckett excitedly revealed to me a few weeks ago, it wouldn't take much to elobrate on the silly consipiracy and fill in the holes with a fanciful story. One that would at once make think my and my daughter's importance to the world is much greater than it probably is and cause me to stop at nothing in my pursuit to find her. I'm not sure that I need any more motivation; I'm contemplating in talking to spirits, for Christ sakes. That's hardly the mindset of level headed thinking.

Three, everything he said is absolutely true and my Susan will become powerful enough to move the heavens and the earth. This one is the most disturbing to think about, although I must admit, the idea of her being alive does give me hope that all my efforts won't be in vain. If she's alive somewhere, I will not stop until I find her or know the truth of what transpired all those months ago on a dark road outside this small town.

Speaking of preparations, I continue to grow stronger on my astral walks. I've actually been able to manifest a semi corporal body while in this state. I'm not able to manipulate anything nor have I been able to communicate with anyone on either plane, this is postive step forward. In fact, my short walks have started to draw attention from the spirits surrounding me. Unfortunately, they remain far too unfocused for me to learn anything. I suspect Caleb would be much better suited to this madness, but if it's as dangerous as has been intimated by several around me, it will remain my responsibility alone. I was even able to make use of my astral projection to learn more about this vampire court that Keliah had mentioned. I know vampires remain a large presence in Ravenhurst, but even I was shocked at how large. There were many, many faces I did not recognize gathered outside the lighthouse last week. The main discussion seemed to revolve around a religious type hunter that was in the area, whom several in the party believed might be connected to the coven. I almost laughed out loud, not that anyone would have heard me, I hope at least. The idea of a nun being associated with the strange group of pagans I find myself associated with would be enough to make my devout father roll over in his grave. Hell, the idea of me associating with the witches circle would be enough to prompt an exorcism, no doubt.

I saw Keliah that night as well, looking as ethereal as ever. Almost like a porcelain doll. She's different when I'm not around; she possesses quite the commanding presence. Perhaps it's for the best that she is handling business with her kind, but I still don't have to like it. I just don't see this ending well...for anyone.

I have to admit, this shop business is starting to get a little easier and I can see why Blaise and Lexie have chosen to do so. It makes finding others like us much easier than hoping we'll just happen to bump into them. When looking for sin, you have to go where the sinners are. It obviously makes sense that to find mage potentials, a new age crystal shop works in a pinch. As our circle seems to have contracted as of late and our enemies seem to have grown, it's probably for the best that we add to our power base. Personally, I'd like to just stay out of the whole supernatural politics and get back to my task of finding Susan, but learning about the veil is much like being in mafia. They don't really let you walk away from it, and as in the unfortunate case of poor Ace, you very well could be sleeping with the fishes.

I can tell by the time stamp on my last entry that I'm falling into my old habits of not chronicling my amazingly epic life; a life mostly consisting of ordering around young, inexperienced idiots and explaining to them what they're doing wrong. It seems the more things change, the more they stay the same. Ever since I did Blaise a favor by buying into the Ellwyn's crystal shop, I've found my life drifting back into what I thought I had left behind; teaching. How it is I am teaching source manipulation to young potentials when I barely have less than a year of actual training myself corraborates the old adage about how an expert is someone that knows a little bit more about the subject than you; emphasis on little bit. I suppose that I do fit the stereotypical role as trainer out of the motley crew that makes up the Raven's circle; Lexie is too nice, Caleb is too self involved, and the only way you would want to use Tabitha is as an example of what not to do with life. As for me? Well, it's obviously not my devilish good looks and soothing baritone, but they do help.

It's probably not as crazy as I make it out to seem. Most of the rest of the circle has been brought up in magic and give very little thought for how to explain it to someone. Much like those unimpressed vendors living in the shadow of the great pyramid in Giza, it just is and always has been, so what's so interesting about it? Coming in as an outsider, I've been much more concerned with how things work and why they do what they do, mostly for my own edification. However, this allows me to explain in layman's terms how things work to people who are now in the same position I was only half a year or so ago. This probably explains why Blaise wasn't the greatest of teachers; she was too close to the subject to stand apart and dissect it for those trying to learn.

Lexie has been helpful to a point; she has a long way to go before she will be an effective teacher as she seems at a loss for words, probably due to a lack of confidence in expressing herself. However, the recent influx of new potentials, including a few older faces such as Mizuki, have kept us rather busy trying to prepare them all for the challenges ahead. I can't say I have any confidence in any of the ones I'm working with sticking around; I suppose at this point, I've become inured to the idea that nobody ever stays long in this town. Perhaps that's unfair; it takes a certain kind of individual, probably indicated by a certain level of insanity and stupidity in varying measures, to want to make Ravenhurst their home. Obviously, from my past decisions and foolish choices, I more than meet the requirements, or perhaps it's more appropriate to say live down to them.

I've yet to wrap my mind around the information I was given by my correspondent O, the mysterious follower of Apep, about my Susan. How can you, really? It's so fantastical and ridiculous that I would laugh, if not for the fact that the fantastical and ridiculous seem to be demonstrated daily, or perhaps nightly, here in Ravenhurst. I've devoted my free time to expanding my abilities for the astral walk I've been planning for some time. As I've been given more warnings about my venture than appear on a pack of cigarettes, I've been a bit more cautious in the preparations. I believe I've made a major breakthrough in one of the main issues I've been worried about; being able to communicate with those in the physical world. No, I haven't developed a voice in astral form, but I do believe I've been able to modify an ancient spell I've found while working on translations. Lexie has taken a look and seems to think they may work. I'm obviously biased, so a second opinion is always appreciated. I just hope she isn't humoring me.

My daily walks through the netherworld continue unabated, and I do believe my acuity for the spirits that inhabit it are growing. It's very slight, but they seem to becoming more and more clear; not just some shapeless colorful blobs as they used to appear. In fact, my own appearance seems to have come into sharper focus when I step outside myself. Using a divination spell I've become rather adept at, I believe I know exactly where I need to begin my search. All this time, I had been trying to find Susan. I never thought to look for something far more obvious; the Mercedes I bought her that, along with her, disappeared into thin air back in December. She may no longer be with the car, but I can't think of a more obvious and large clue to lead me on my search. The most recent expedition into the spirit world led me towards the sewer system of Ravenhurst and towards what seems to be some sort of gateway to a different plane. I don't know that it will necessarily lead me directly to where I need to go, but it's a start. If all goes well, I will be making the plunge a few days from now. It's probably best that I tie up some loose ends before I make this decision.

Speaking of loose ends, Keliah sent me a text the other night while I was working with Mizuki on a warding spell asking that I meet with her. I do not know what she could want, but she said it was urgent that we speak. As no enormous war has broken out between the supernaturals, I can only assume that either her plan to take over as Prince was successful, or that it was never a danger to begin with. It doesn't really matter either way at this point; with her new post, she's effectively sequestered herself from my kind. I will speak with her, of course; this was originally her plan, afterall. She deserves to know what I'm about to attempt, even if she was unable to treat me with similiar respect regarding her decisions not so long ago. I obviously need another drink.